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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I broke up with my bf of almost a year back in October. He broke up with me over the phone and it was pretty hurtful. It was right out of the blue. The ngiht before we had been discussing where we were going to go for a weekend away for our 1 year anniversary. His mum had just died and I had been there for him the whole time so needless to say, being dumped on the phone hurt. But I tried to move on, and just got my head around what a complete jerk he was. Since then I've had a one night stand, a few brief infatuations, one major crush (still have that crush actually...), so am really feeling like I'm over my ex bf. Most of the time I don't even think about him. But lately, I've been feeling a bit down, probably cos valentines day is coming up and everything and I just find myself missing him. I know he treated me like crap - all my friends say he never appreciated me properly, and I would never get back together with him, but it's dragging me down. I just keep dwelling on the fact he broke up with me over the phone and that the last year must have meant nothing. The more I think about it the more scared I become of new relationships and its gotten to the point I just dont know how to act around guys. I've gotten needy. I'm seriously scared of getting close to anyone, including the guy I currently have a bit of a thing for (its mutual, but we're just friends for now). I have a bit of a horrible past; was in a relationship with a paedophile who manipulated me and raped me, and so I also just keep thinking whenever I get close to someone again, I'm going to have to tell them everything. I find myself getting upset at night times because theres nobody there to hold me like my ex did and I miss all the little things we used to do together like going food shopping and snuggling on the couch. Its really getting me down and I'm feeling as if although I got over him, I'm now going backwards. What can I do? I want to move on.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2008): My last boyfriend of about a year broke up with me over the phone. I thought I would never get over it. It took about 6 months til I was finally feeling better, although, even then I still thought of him and longed to be held....just like you. But, it is now over a year later. I have been in a new relationship for about 4 months, and I think I am falling in love. So, I just wanted to tell you this to give you hope. You will get through this!! Good luck sweetie.
A
male
reader, Somethingeasy  +, writes (31 January 2008):
 Your just letting out repressed memories now. Its actally a sign that you are getting better. Its probally best to let out how you really feel to someone you know and trust and or a shrink.
Destructive relationships are the worst and most horrible to get over. They leave us damaged and alone. Its just the way it is. Its up to you as to how you heal. Some people can do it real quick, others it takes years. Something that when your ready to fall in love again, it will happen. Until then you are going to have to settle for one night stands and a bunch of crappy dates that dont go anywhere. Like Me..
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A
female
reader, bee12  +, writes (31 January 2008):
You really had a rough time of it havnt you! All you can do is try and get him out of your head, dont think it was because he didnt care for you that he broke up with you over the phone. I have to admitt I have broken up with an ex boyfriend over the phone and it wasnt because I didnt love him I just couldnt face him, I knew he would be so hurt. Keep going the way you are your just lonely at the moment it will pass!Trust me
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