A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:In explaining myself prior to asking my question, I will probably seem pathetic one moment and arrogant the next, but I'm neither. I'm just being completely honest about my personality and tendancies to give you an idea of how different things are for me. All throughout my childhood and teens I was always surrounded by lots of friends. When I was thirteen, I started having issues with depression and have been on many different medications over the years, none of which seemed to do anything. Throughout those times, I lost some "surface friends" as I like to call them, but still had tons of people around. I have body image issues that I have struggled with for sometime (what woman hasn't!), but as far as confidence in myself as a person...that never seemed to be lacking. A couple of years back I got myself into some trouble doing drugs. I was with the whole party scene, and thought it was great. One night I almost died. I know I did. I'm not a religious woman by any stretch of the imagination, but I was so scared I was praying that night. I said, "If you're up there, and you let me live through this, I swear I'll quit." So I quit doing drugs. It was so difficult leaving everyone behind. Since then, I've had a few jobs and attended a semester of University. I'm outgoing and personable and I have a quick wit that used to crack people up, but I'm having such a difficult time meeting people. I recently got married, and my husband and I were talking the other day, and he's upset because he feels he can't ever do anything because I often don't have alternate plans I could make. I'm honestly not a hard person to get to know. I am very compassionate and had a very healthy social life all of my life. So whats my issue now? It was bad enough just feeling lonely sometimes, but now that I know my lack of friends to spend time with is affecting my husband as well, I feel even worse. I have been dealing with self-esteem issues, but I am not one to sit and complain or whine in front of others, so its not like thats an evident part of me. I feel increadibly ridiculous asking this question. I just don't know what to do. Once you're out of school, and you don't work with anyone even remotely your age...short of having kids and meeting other childrens' parents (which now is definitely not the time for), how do you make new connections and friendships?!
View related questions:
confidence, drugs, university Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionPerhaps I didn't specify. It's not me that thinks we need to spend more time apart. It is him that says he feels that because my friends aren't in great supply, he is unable to go out and do things with his friends. Personally, I love spending time with him. I can't get enough of it! Just to clarify that point.
A
female
reader, samohir  +, writes (6 November 2007):
 Im not from ur country, so maybe im not so quilified to answer this but will try to give my opinion.
You sound to me as Strong yet delicately vulnarable woman.
Seem that although have had many friends,now you cant remmember of anybody honest and reliable one.
When i was 20 i was feeling like you, Now im 24 and have 3-4 friends on which i can rely and summun for my bad and good moments, all of whom I ve met after my 20, and a bunch of others with whom im connected with different things, my hobies, interests etc.
The best way, is to look into urself,and see what things(regardless as hobies or proffesiion) interest you the most.The solution is in urself, and you have to find it.It make take some time, but thats normal.
As friends are in question, well you ve just joined a great site of dearcupid friends and surely if you try will find more.Not just sites but in life, openess to communication is one thing(you seem not to lack of it) but also "caring" for is of great importancy.And ur hobies, interests can lead you to many alike people from ur country and world too.
Your question is a good strating point of making life-long friendships.
But the answer can only be found by you!
Best of Luck
...............................
A
female
reader, confused in WVa  +, writes (6 November 2007):
 Why not spend time with your husband? Suggest that the two of you go out together as a couple to meet and mingle with others? You will both benifit. It will not only bring the two of you closer together, but will alow you both to obtain new friends.
...............................
|
