A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My partner does a course involving a lot of women and very few male collegues (nursing) he goes twice a week, and they have all started going out to dinner together (well a group of 5 or 6 of them). I have started feeling a bit of green eyed monster, i struggle with my self esteem and my partner has form for cheating (cheated on me a year and a half ago before we got 'serious') we have lived together for a year and Im generally happy about the relationship, but ive never met these women, and he keeps them pretty much a secret, doesnt have any phone numbers just has them on a social networking site. He has offered for me to go down one day when they are on dinner but this has never been made, we rarely go out as a couple as we are struggling for money. Am I just been silly? I have voiced once or twice that although i have no problem with him having female friends i sometimes get bothered by the fact they are kept 'out of my way' so to speak. They all know hes in a relationship, and like i said before im happy with everything else but i do find myself thinking, you can go out to dinner with a load of random women but the last time we went out to dinner together was months ago.
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female
reader, Starlights +, writes (22 June 2009):
 why dont u one day arrange to go along with him for the social dinner where they all get together?
this will give you a good opportunity to see who he hangs out with, before you let your thoughts drive you mad!
its terrible he goes out to dinner when your struggling for money, have you asked him why?
i understand you must be suspicious of his behaviour but you need concrete proof before you allow your thoughts to think he is cheating.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (22 June 2009):
 Yep, you need to be able to meet him for dinner as well if you can't afford it then NOBODY goes out for dinner. Fair is fair.
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A
female
reader, starfairy +, writes (22 June 2009):
 You need to say that to him - not 'mention' it, find a time when you can both talk and let him know exactly how you feel. It's not fair he can fork out to go to dinner with female colleagues but not you two...
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