A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:II have been with my boyfriend for a little over 2 years. We love eachother but I have always been jealous and insecure of other girl he becomes close with. He's been working at this place for almost a year and there's a girl that works with him almost all the time and they are becoming closer, and just lately I've been pretty insecure about it. It's just my bf, Edith(the girl I'm uneasy about) and 2 other guys at work . Edith an him text a lot and I guess they buy eachother things for lunch and (he's never told me I've jut found out) and they go out to eat with one with another coworker after work and are gone for hours. My bf is naturally flirty and doesn't even realize it but at work Edith wanted to write what she appriciated about everyone and for my bf she put "lookin good" which pisses me off and makes me wonder how they are with one another. I just wish they weren't so close and idk how to accept her in his life. Idk how to bring this subject up because it's kind of touchy and I don't want to come off as super jealous or insecure about it!! What do you guys think? :/ help!
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female
reader, sarcy24  +, writes (6 June 2012):
 I would not like this either but as the anonymous poster says the best thing to do to piss her off would be to meet her then if she has any intentions towards your boyfriend and she sees you are there and aren't threatened by her she will absolutely hate it. I had a similar situation years ago and I can feel for you but the best thing to do is just let it run it's course. Don't ask your b/f questions about her or make a face or snidy remarks if he mentions her just smile and move onto another subject. Your b/f will not work there forever and nor will she. The key to all these things is to rise above what is going on because if you keep making comments or asking about her you will be seen as controlling or needy neither of which is attractive to men and will push him towards her if there is anything there. However I don't think your b/f is interested she is just someone at work, I personally would not like the texting but again if you ask him to stop it shows it is getting to you and men do not like being told what to do. To win you are either going to have to grin and bare it or get involved in going out with them after work to assert your authority.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2012): WOW. I would feel insecure as well and unfortunately this has happened to me before. Think of it this way... Has he given you ANY reason not to trust him? Does he spend most of his time with you when he's not at work? Does he go out with them frequently, even if not at work? Does he exclude you? Why don't you ask to meet her? It could ease the insecurity a bit and maybe you'd like her. You don't have to be her super best friend, but you can be civil. AND by being civil, you would be pissing her off (if she likes your bf in any way), because she knows you aren't threatened by her. If he is a loving and caring bf otherwise, I would say ease up a bit. Make some male friends of your own. I go out to lunch with my coworkers sometimes. HOWEVER, if he does this all the time, and drinks while he's there, you should let him now it's inappropriate behavior for a taken guy.
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