A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I seem to be suffering from self-image issues since a break-up about a month ago. Since it happened I've had this overwhelming sense that I need to be "better" at everything.I've always been in great shape, but I have gone to the gym every single day for the last month and a half, at least 2 hours per time... My roommates have mentioned they're worried about how much time I spend lifting weights and having taken many physical wellness courses, I know that your body needs much more rest when recovering. Yet I can't stop going...seeing parts of my body; needing them to be more cut, more defined, or bigger.I'm told I'm a good looking guy, yet lately I just can't see it. I spend so much time "teasing" my hair in the morning, making it look just right and am constantly washing my face. I make sure to dress to impress and practice good hygiene before leaving the room (don't worry, I practiced good hygiene BEFORE the break up too)I've been writing music non-stop and playing my violin and guitar relentlessly in hopes to get better. I'm studying harder for all my classes, making sure I get all A's.So this may not look like such a problem, but I feel I'm suffering psychological damage from it. I can't just sit still and relax with friends anymore... I always have to be doing something; improving myself in some way or else I just feel terrible...like I'm not good enough.Are there any good ways to get over this? I don't mind getting better at the things I love, but I fear I'm going overboard and could harm my mind and body. Advice would be great :)
View related questions:
a break, insecure, roommate Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the pointers. I do believe I have gone overboard physically, yet I feel lazy if I don't. "Female, anonymous" is right; after having my heart broken I feel the constant need to prove myself and to be better. I keep thinking in my head "If I ever run into her again, she's going to see me and regret leaving me..."
And seriously, its bothering me. I just want to move on and let it go. I don't mind working harder at things, but lately its been too hard. I haven't allowed myself any leisure time and I hate it.
Maybe I'll tell my closer friends about my problems and hopefully they'll hold me accountable. Thanks again for the advice.
A
male
reader, CaptainObvious +, writes (21 December 2010):
 I'm the absolute last person to give advice on an exercise regimen, but it sounds like you're versed on the dangers of overdoing it and not allowing your body to regenerate.
So the question is - are you going too far physically?
It's not uncommon to dive headlong into something to the point of compulsion after a breakup.
You aren't spending your every waking hour surfing porn, or eating rock road ice cream.
I think a lot depends on how intense and protracted your compulsion is.
Given your concerns, I would enlist the assistance of a trusted friend to serve as your early warning system.
Explain the situation, and agree that upon his request at any time, you'll go see the doc and have him evaluate your physical condition, and be bound by the doc's recommendations.
My concern is that you might fall into the mental trap that plagues anorexics, where body image is so skewed they do irreparable damage.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2010): it sounds to me like you are trying to prove that you are/were good enough for the person you broke up with, and no there is nothing wrong with making yourself a better person, but you also need to rest that is very importanthave you tried listening to sort easy listening music and just letting your thoughs go while having a relaxing bath maybe with some essential oils like lavender and candles i know its more a girl thing to do but it can be very relaxing.or laying under the sky and watching the world go by. or try finding a hobby like painting that relaxes you lets face it all work and no play is no good for anyone
...............................
|
