A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Things are really playing on my mind so i have to write my story again, im married with children but currently going through a speration for the last few months. because ive just not felt loved during my marriage and felt like i was always taken for granted. during our speration i met a good looking younger guy than me, hes never been married and has no children, but seemed interested in me nothing has happened between us apart from text mssgs that got quite personal. Recently i asked him something in a text, the reply came back as im in a foul mood leave me alone ill text next week i took this personally and replied that i was hurt and then was told to get lost. since then ive tried to apologise a number of times but hes just ignoring me, im hurt and confused cause i really didnt mean to upset him please help.
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female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (26 October 2007):
 I completely understand wanting to feel loved and wanting the attention of a male suitor, especially after what you have been through. I agree with all though who say you should take some me time and really just flirt and get the attention casually. This is not a good time to get into a relationship because you are vulnerable. You are quite likely to make a bad choice and some bad decisions. It sounds like this lad would have been a bad choice. There are many ways to say "I'm having a bad day, can you give me some space". This lad's choice of words sounds pretty immature and self centered to me and I honestly do not think you want to get yourself wrapped up with MR. ITSALLABOUTME. At this time in your life, it should be all about you! You do not owe him an apology either. But I would take his advice. Get yourself lost of him. Take care.
A
male
reader, Richard_EMids +, writes (25 October 2007):
 Hi there - you don't say what it was you asked him in the text!!!
However, what has happened is a good indicator of your present state of mind.
Let me point out some of the phrases you have used:
....."really playing on my mind"
....."felt not loved"
....."taken for granted"
....."seemed interested in me"
....."took this personally"
....."I was hurt"
...."I'm hurt and confused"
You seem very sensitive at the moment, I guess your heart and emotions have taken quite a battering in the last year. This is understandable. But if it is playing on your mind, when there is really only the shallowest of emotional involvement with this young man then I think you are probably extremely vulnerable emotionally. How you deal with this I think varies from person to person, but the advice from Waterloo Sunset is worth considering. A period of independence would allow you to build up your strength, increase your confidence, take the opportunity to make yourself a more interesting person. I don't know how long you have been together with your husband - but you will find you have probably changed over the years. It is only when you come into focus as an individual (rather than as part of a couple) that you can see your true self as it becomes sharper and more defined.
You could of course just enjoy the attention this young man could show you , without getting emotionally involved , but from the sound of it, you don't seem strong enough yet to behave in that way right now - you're already hurting over a text. See what other suggestions you get to your question - and look at other peoples situations - it helps you put your own situation into perspective. Take care - and keep posting.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2007): You do not deserve this disrespect at all! Be strong and walk away. I think your self esteem is at an all time low due to the past, you need to put all of this behind you and move on. You have children to consider too so why put yourself through this. Be on your own, it isnt a crime. i spent 5 years on my own with my young son, i found it to be rewarding, hard, challenging and very fruitful. I grow stronger and stronger each day. I discovered the real me, and i liked what i found. I loved the space and the independence. Stay on your own for a time and gain strength. You do not deserve to put up with this, so dont!
take care
xx
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A
female
reader, Oblivia  +, writes (25 October 2007):
 From what you have written here, it seems more like he should apologize to you. It is not very nice to tell you to get lost no matter what it was you were writing to him. Maybe you feel more vulnerable right now because of going through a separation, that is very understandable, especially since you felt so little love in your marriage. But there is no need for you to feel you did wrong to text him. Stop apologizing to him and walk away. There are better men out there. And you deserve a good man who will make you feel loved!
Wish you luck with new life!
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