A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So I've gained 20 lbs since I got engaged, I'm now married to the same man, but I feel that he is not attracted to me sexually any more. It has been months since we have been truely physical with eachother.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice. I'll have get that book.
A
female
reader, desirewhitefire  +, writes (25 October 2007):
 There may be other reasons. He may be under a lot of stress at work or something else could be bothering him.
If you have been steadily gaining the weight since your engagement and all you have gained is 20 pounds, I'm sure he hasn't really noticed all that much, unless you have been pointing it out to him. For example, say you are getting dressed and he's in the same vicinity. If you say out loud, like most women do in a moment of frustration, that you feel so fat and nothing fits you anymore, that could be more of a turn off to him that your actual weight. And think about the last time you two made love. Did you flinch when he touched your belly, or if he touched an area that you feel has gotten a little flabby, did you pull his hands away? Do you always turn the lights out because you don't want him to see everything?
If he were shallow, he would say something to you about your extra weight. If he has said something, then that's why he won't get intimate with you.
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