A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:hii wonder if anyone can give me much needed advise please?i am currently seperated form my wife of 18 yrs,we had a good marriage,but the last 5 years just grew totaaly appart from each other ,different lives,hobbies,friends,lost feelings and respect,no sexy etc etc i eventually left 12 months ago and have now met a lovley lady who i love dearly but she lives a 7 hr drive away from me and because of that it has become a weekend relationship,we have spoken about moving into together,but im not ready for this as i dont want to leave my children ,well not for the next couple of years at least the problem i hav,is that i have had quite a bit of contact with my wife the last few days,and have felt massivley guilty,she had been dating a fella for 3 months ,who has now finished it,and his views of her were very simillar to mine,selfish,opioionated,non loving etc etc ,why do i feel so sorry for her,when the past months i havent really thought a lot about her?i feel so bad and guilty for leaving her,and seeing her so lonely and upset,makes me feel worse?and to be honest i know i still have feelings for her!!any advise pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeethanks ,kind regards Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2010): Sometimes we fall in love with TOXIC people. We love them, but they are BAD NEWS and not suitable to be in a loving / giving relationship. (hostage situation, maybe)... you still love the person you're remembering- however, the reality is that she is not suitable as a companion- she has serious issues and you need to follow your original instinct and NOT rush to "save" her.You need to look at your past actions. In the past, did you try to save / protect her? If so - STOP, and think about your role as a "protector"... you need to make a healthy decision for YOU.
A
male
reader, Jeffro1977  +, writes (1 October 2010):
It appears that there are 2 main relationship killers. The big obvious is cheating. The second is failure to appreciate.If you still love your ex wife. Stay casual, get excited about something else, that you want to share with her, listen to her (to make sure that your actually listening, repeat back a few key concepts of what she talking about back to her, not annoyingly like but you know what I mean) and most of all, tell her how you are really starting to see all of the new responsibilities now that she's gone and how you feel dumb because you never saw exactly how much she used to take care of for you. Yup that all you need to do. As soon as she realizes that you truly appreciated her, she will be kissing you.
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