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male
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anonymous
writes:I'm jealous of my older sister. I'm 17 she's 20 and she got 4 A's at A-Level, seems to be doing well at Manchester Uni doing Maths and she's popular(and has a boyfriend). Meanwhile I'm struggling with my A-Levels, and I'm getting beaten up everytime at school (the teachers ignore it!). To be honest I'm not as badly bullied as some of my friends, but I'm just fed up of always coming last behind my sister in everything. And I know my parents like her more than me because they're always saying how well she's doing and why I'm not like that.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2007): Dont feel so bad, you have qualities that your sister doesnt have. Try not to worry,theres no need to compete with her. You just do your best and try and keep a positive attitude, it is hard to do but not impossible!
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2006): i know exactly how you feel i have a sister who is 18 months older than me and she's bright, smart and intelligent but she used to be not pretty but now she's gorgeous looking so i have nothing to beat her by!!! My mum and dad always look at me if something has gone wrong because she's "apparently" more behaved than me but it isn't fair!! And then my mum and dad have a go at me whenever i talk to them because they say it's my own fault for being badly behaved at school!! AND I'M NOT I TRY MY BEST!! It makes me feel as if i am crap good luck xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2006): ++'siu hei' = huffy, lack of patience etc.++
Ah yes... Yes... Mhm... Thank you. 8]
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2006):
What is typical in these situation is that you find your own path, something she is not into. Computers? LAX? Art?
It might also be helpful to switch schools. Sometime it is a pain following in the path of a legacy when all the teachers want to talk about how great your relative was.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2006): 'siu hei' = huffy, lack of patience etc. lol
but yea...i get you. except i give myself that kindof pressure. and well, it's really uncomfortable when i get shot down by subtle hints of disapproval on how i as the eldest get compliments and not my younger sibs. haii sorry, should be writing thi s in own agony niece. but yea, you're not alone.
what i suggest is follow and develop your passion. in the end, that's what would blow up and energise your life. all the best =)
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2006): Well that's the thing - you aren't do well in school. Your parents are simply stating the fact. I know it is not a good feeling to have your parents compare the siblings - for me, definitely been there, so I can relate.
As for being bullied, forget the teachers. You should go to someone who actually help you - try the school board, counsellors, student resources, the help line - not really sure what they have in the UK. Basically, if you cannot find help in one place, try an alternative until someone listens and helps you.
Now back on the question on being fed up - well, that's a part of your personality at the moment. For me, I out-grew that. It doesn't bother me cuz I can only do what I am willing to do and can achieve with my willingness. If my parents cannot see that, then whatever. If I am sick of it enough, and I can't stand their rants and pesters, then hey, I can move out. Fortunately, I'm not that 'siu hei' (Cantonese). I don't know how to explain 'siu hei'. 8]
You can also alternatively tell your parents that though you can see they are very proud of your sister, they are also making you feel very unappreciative, and in short, it makes you upset sometimes. You can also tell them that there are bullies at school, other stuff at school, stuff happening in your life that's been getting you down. Tell them that everyone can be good at something, but not everyone can be good at everything.
A lot of the times, parents think what they do or exert onto their children are good for them, even the things they say, they feel if their children would listen, they would try to improve themselves. However, they always fail with this reasoning. It only makes their children resentful, angry, frustrated, despressed, upset, stressed, and the like. What parents should do is give guidance - good healthy guidance but give their children the freedom to do the things that can benefit themselves in a postive way. So what if your parents want you to follow in the foot steps of your sister who is becoming a professional? You have your own goals - maybe you want to create music for Monotonik, Miasmah, Tokyo Dawn Records? Maybe you want to get into the study of herbal medicine? Who knows?
Yeah, I should give this spiel to your mom and dad instead eh? 8]
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