A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i think i'm falling in love with my best friend. only prblem is hes gay and i'm a straight girl. hes so sweet and we get along really well we're so alike and he says nice things to me and compliments me all the time and hes usually really affectionate. were not afraid to tell each other we love each other and that we miss each other. i know he's gay but all of this is making me fall for him really hard. there are times when he's all i think about, or i'll think about stupid things like if we lived together or if we were dating how it would be. what it'd be like to be intimate with him. what would happen if we both got really really drunk, lol.we've known each other since grade 8 and i never had feelings for him before but now i do and i'm really confused by it. he was dating someone he really liked a lot last year and i was so so jealous, i feel so bad about this but i was kind of glad they broke up because his bf wanted him to move to another state. now he's single and i'm single and he's even more affectionate than before. i don't want to tell him about this because it'll make things really awkward and i couldn't bear to lose what we have now but part of me feels like he may have feelings for me too, he's even said many times that if he was straight or if i was a gay guy we'd be together and probably married. like i said i know he's gay and i respect that and won't try to ""turn him"" or anything... i just wanna know how to get over this so i can go back to seeing him as just a friend.
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best friend, broke up, drunk, jealous Reply to this Question
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (18 November 2010):
 If you want to allow yourself to be tortured, then far be from me to argue the point. There is no magic wand, either you distance yourself and stay busy getting on with your life or you hang out with him and be miserable. I repeat, this is a no win situation, so I, if I were you, would quit wasting my precious time and move onto greener pastures.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni could never deal with not having him my life, i've tried distancing myself for a whole month twice and it didn't help at all. i don't have the money and don't ever intend to move far away so that's not an option. he's lived far away for months at a time before too and the last time he did my feelings for him never faded away. it's like torture.
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A
female
reader, AnaMarie91 +, writes (18 November 2010):
I agree with her. he's your best friend. Best Friend. So there's probably no way to distance yourself from him unless you "break up" friendwise. Feelings will fade if you let them. How long have you been single? bc you could just be feeling lonely and your best friend has and is always there for you. I'm actually n love with my best friend, she's a girl and she's gay, so we don't have the gender issue you have but I still haven't acted on my emotions. We'v been best friends for about 5yrs now and recently (may2010) talked about our feelings towards each other and we both were wondering what it would be like to be together, kiss, be intimate,..because we have such a great friendship but she's been on and off with her uglyass gf for the past 2yrs so she's too "broken" right now to think straight about what/who she wants so we did nothing. Just went back to bein the same aftr a few weeks. Now I live 5hrs away for college so I'm able to distance myself. Maybe you could try taking a job in another state...? because if y'all are that good of friends, he'll probably try to visit you no matter what city you're in if your n the same state. if you're outta state then it'll be harder. But make sure that's the step you want to take. (make it a last resort)
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (17 November 2010):
You, unfortunately, are in a no win situation. This isn't going to get easier for you if you are in constant contact with him. If you can't distance yourself then you'll just have to grin and bear it. With luck maybe your romantic feelings for him will fade.
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