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female
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anonymous
writes: Where can I start apart from im in love with my best (only) male friend. He knows that im falling in love with him but because he was badly hurt last year does not want a relationship. We have not had sex or kissed properly so that is not a problem. Problem is my feelings for him are now starting to make me ill, because im so desperate to be with him im starting to fall into a sort of depression and dont know how to snap out of it. Because I have also been badly hurt in the past im very insecure and not at all confident about the way I look (im a larger lady), so sometimes im constantly on my friends case and I cant understand why he is still on the scene after all the rubbish I dish out at him. Thing is I dont know what he thinks about the fact that im falling in love with him he has never said, but it also hasnt changed the way he acts towards me which is the most confusing thing. My friends say he likes me otherwise he wouldnt put up with it but I dont know what to think anymore. Thanks for listening.
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female
reader, confussed jane +, writes (13 September 2006):
its normal should talk to him if yoy dont you will never no how he feels start being nicer to him esp if you want to be with him. i think he does like you like said he puts up with it probally because he likes you he probally scared to say something you be surpissed hun i think should tell him and be nicer to him.
good luck hun xxxx
A
male
reader, Abacadaba  +, writes (13 September 2006):
 feeling depressed because wanting to be with someone happens all the time, infact it has happened to me twise. you say your not very nice to him? maybe if you tryed your best to be nice, and be yourself, he might consider being with you, because maybe he does like you aswell, but is afraid because of the rubbish you give him, you could try talking to him about it, if you feel comfortable to do so. oh and you said your not confident about the way you look? dont be, we are all ourselves, personallity is alot more important than looks, a realtionship built on looks wont last, where as one built on compatability, and happyness, will, remember that. hope it all works out for you
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A
female
reader, snowbird  +, writes (13 September 2006):
 I hope you can find it in yourself to ask him outright how he feels about your relationship, and where to go from here.
If he says he will always be just a friend, then I'm afraid you are going to have to deal with it, but on the other hand, why would he stick around and take it if he does'nt care for you very deeply?
I don't know why you mention that you are a large lady - you can still make the most of your best points - and a fair few men say that they prefer cuddly ladies! But if you really are not happy about your weight and if it is that which damages your self-esteem, why not join a slimming club, or buy an exercise dvd? I rely on half an hour's exercise per day - believe me, it does work - not immediately, but when you feel your muscles firming up it cheers you up no end! Also it releases hormones called endorphines, which are the body's natural 'happy hormones', which is why some people get addicted to excercise! It's a start, and could also take the focus off of your friend for a while..You may even fancy treating yourself to a pampering session at the local beauty salon, and getting your hair done - you never know, your friend might just see you in a new light - he may indeed get trampled in the rush! If all else fails, at least all the pampering will lift your spirits and make you feel better about yourself. Take care!
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