A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I have recently become really good friends with my second cousin and I'm so happy about it, but the thing is I am starting to have strong feelings for him Im 16 and he is 18. We are becoming really close and I tell him everything I trust him with my life. The thing is I want to tell him how I feel but I'm afraid to... What should I do?
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male
reader, Beanscat +, writes (10 January 2012):
I say yes look you cant help who you have feelings for and if its a family issue ask in private who cares what you they think as long as your happy. I had a crush on my cousin but then I asked her out and she said yes and I couldn't be happier. He might have some confusion towards his feelings so give him sum time but make sure you give him the facts about how there isn't really any risk for kids and make sure its legal where you are. Good luck
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2012): Yes, cousins are real people, too. I see that a couple of voices sound discouraging on the basis of what the family might think. Maybe this will help. There is a superstition that marrying cousins is a Bad Thing. But there is evidence that is not as bad as marrying strangers. Here is a reference to a study done in Iceland. Turns out second cousins OR CLOSER are not as bad a bet for having children and grandchildren as non kin. I know you're only 16 aand grandchildren might seem to be a non issue, but if you are falling in love you want to think about children and, yes, grandchildren down the road because you are making decisions that affect them. Or anyway you might have family to mollify. The reference was pubished by the American Society for the Advancement of Science, which is just about as prestigious as any group you can find. Their web site is sciencemag.org and you will wind up spending a few bucks to buy a copy of the article. An Association between Kinship and Fertility of Human Couples Agnar Helgason et al. SCIENCE vol. 329 no. 5864 February 8, 2008 page 813 - 816Best wishes.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2012): Wow! Relationships with family members would cause you a lot of problems. They simply couldn't work well. Be really careful as potentially it could ruin your family relationship and especially with your cousin. Be really careful!
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