A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have a family problem that I hope you can help me with. A few months ago I found out that a relative to whom I used to be very close to is in big trouble and is really down on her luck. This could continue for the rest of her life. We have not spoken and I have not seen her in about 7 years. Our relationship before then was always up and down so I decided to cut all ties with her and go my own way. I am not sure whether she is aware that I know of her situation but nobody talking.Recently my mind has been on her thinking about her problem and wondering how she is doing. I do not want to get close to her or bring her back into my life again as we already have many unrresolved issues and I feel it would bring more problems into my life.However, I am really concerned for her and it keeps playing on my mind. I know she would dare not make contact due to what has gone on between us in the past and even though I feel that I shouldn't have to make the first move as I'm not the one needing help a part of me is truly concerned about her. I am not in touch with anyone in her circle and nobody has come to speak to me about the problems she is facing. I don't know whether I should just leave well alone and continue with my life or try to make some kind of contact so she knows I am there for her if she needs any help. What should I do? Thanks for your help. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 September 2012):
 As you have said yourself a lot has happened between the both of you in the past that made you lose contact with her. I get why you would be worried about her now, at the end of the day you used to be close to her and she is your family. But my best advice would be to keep away. I know you are concerned but do you really need her off loading her trouble on to you? If it is something you feel that cannot go unresolved then talk to another family member who you are close to and see what they think of the situation.
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