A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My best friend has started sleeping with a guy from work who is married. They live on a campus and he is her next door neighbour.She says they both know it is going nowhere but she is happy for it to continue.She had a terrible relationship last year where her boyfriend never wanted to have sex with her. I think she is glad that this person is willing to have sex with her.But I don't think it is a very good idea because it is only going to generate a great big mess for all concerned.I normally accept whatever she does, even if it's destructive, and it makes no difference to our friendship. We know each other inside out and a large part of why that's possible is we just accept each other unconditionally.But on this occasion I really want to tell her I think it's a bad idea.But then I think, it's really not my place. Just be there for her.Is it being a better friend to say what I think or let her live her life without me judging her?!Thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2012): I would definitely say something. Be prepared for backlash, but you clearly have her best interest at heart.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (28 September 2012):
 I think if she asks you can be honest, I certainly would be. Do you really think if you brought it up and told her what she was doing is "wrong" that she would stop?
I'm not one for telling people how to live, unless they ask me.
(except my kids )
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A
female
reader, Just Gill +, writes (28 September 2012):
 As a best friend you want her to have what she wants so you think the best route is to stand by her and support her decision. But you recognise the situation isn't the best place for your friend to be in, 'the married man next door', majority agrees thats a wrong choice. You dont want your friend getting hurt and you understand and support her judgement but express your concerns and give reasons why you have thise concerns! But explain to her that you will support her on her decison, its not fair to take someone's free will. In your perspective your friend is making a mistake, you need to find out her reasons and logic behind her actions and express your views on the situation. You can do both which is support and talk to your friend.
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