A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok this is kind pf complicated but ill try my best to put it in writing ….I was in a long distance relationship and we were totally in love .We meet and after a past abusive relationship I never thought id ever feel for some1 like I did now. His family and friends loved me. Months went by with good contact and everything was great he works away from home so I knew if he went quiet for a few days it was normal. I had planned to go visit him again in and it was booked and paid for we were both extremely excited but a few days before I was due to go he got news that he had to work so I had to rearrange the trip for about 2 months later. I was upset but I knew that it wouldn’t be to long and it was worth it. Turned out he had a accidentand was off work anyway which was a bit upsetting as I could have been there and he was upset to. We spoke on the phone and he shocked me by asking if he was to ask me to marry him soon what would I say ……..I said I would say yes and he was happy.(not a proposal he just asked).so that nyt he told me he loved me and I went to sleep happy.It was normal not to hear from him up to a week but weeks passed and I heard nothing after 4 weeks of no answer on his phone and him not being online I began to worry I was in contact with his friends and family they said he had lost his phone and not to worry……but I couldn’t help it it wasn’t normal so I logged on a social site and there in his quote but was a message saying “looking for some1 to house share with preferably a nice girl” I was confused and finally went through some friends to get him and he came online and said “im sorry but I like some1else “ I was heartbroken and confused .his family said “he’s afraid he likes you so much and scared of commitment“A while past and he came online again and spoke to me telling me that “he got scared he liked me so much and he lied he didn’t like some1else” but he thought it was easier to tell me that. He said he still had feelings for me and wanted me to still come over on the planned and paid for trip which I agreed to do. After a week or so I tried to confirm the trip details as it was very close now and he was like I don’t mind what ever you want I will be there to pick you up. Wouldn’t help me make choices or plans so when I pushed a few times he came online and said “this isn’t gonna work I really like you but we are to far apart.” Again I was heartbroken and left with holidays and a paid trip to another country. When I tried to talk to him he went weird I wasn’t sure if he was drunk or not. So I left it and decided to go on the trip alone rather than waste hundreds of pounds. The night before I was due to travel a close friend of his came online and when he heard I was coming alone he wasn’t happy about me travelling abroad on my own and couldn’t understand what had happened and said he would pick you up and I could hang out with him and hopefully see my ex. So I did and he called and told my ex I was in the country he was 10mins drive from me and didn’t come. said he didn’t feel well so I never got to see him. I made friends and they arranged to come to visit me in my country which they did and we had great fun.So after I came home my ex was online and weird still so I assumed I had to accept it was over which I did even though I still felt for him. So when my new friends came over we had fun and partied. I got drunk and had my very first ever one night stand which I feel terrible about now even though I had been single for months.So my friends went home and a few days later I got a message from my ex saying he still cares about me. Now im dying with guilt even though I was single I feel like I cheated cause I still have feelings with him and I cant get it to go away. He’s very keen to talk to me always starting the convos and being so lovely again like he was when I met him. Im so confused and I have no idea what I should do. Im still in love with him so much but im scared if he knows he will be angry and ill lose him forever.
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drunk, heartbroken, long distance, my ex, one night stand Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, babymama99  +, writes (31 July 2009):
 If I really cared for someone I would do anything in my power to see them and be with them. This guy has turned you away 2 times already and is now coming back for a 3rd try. Live your life, don't feel guilty, and don't put your life on hold waiting for him to do something. Because from what you've written I don't see him stepping up to the plate anytime soon.
A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (31 July 2009):
 What do you have to feel worried about?NOTHING!your man messed up by sending you mixed signals. You weren't together anyway, so it wasnt cheating.Anyway, with his fence sitting, are you really gonna consider a long term relationshiop with someone like this, who has an excuse at every last moment?Hey if I you were in a committed relationship and this happened, Id be the first one to tear you apart for cheating...but you didn't cheat. You feel bad, but he couldn't make up his mind...why wait for him? He will tell you he loves you one day, then tomorrow he will tell you it wont work. Why put up with this uncertainty? Life is too da*n short./He snoozed....there fore he loses.
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