A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I cant breathe!! My gf and I have been dating for 2 years now, and ever since that 2 year anniversary, she has just been drowning me in love constantly. She says she loves me almost every 20 mins on the phone and shes singing my name over and over and saying she loves me. I love her too very much, but I am not the type of guy that needs to be reminded how much she loves me 40 times a day. What do I do? I know that if I tell her that it is too much, she will stop completely, and i don't need the change to be that extreme. I just want her to bring it down a notch, but if I say something, she will take it to heart and stop telling me she loves me completely. Help ?
View related questions:
anniversary Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (28 January 2011):
 I would just tell her you're comfortable enough with your relationship, that you don't need to be reminded everyday that she loves you. Tell her love is expressed through actions and less through words. She can show you she loves you through actions instead of constantly saying "I love you".
There's no indirect nonchalant way to go about this, you're going to have to tell her directly in order for her to tone it down.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2011): Dear drowning-in-her-love,
First off - take a deep breath! BREATHE. Secondly, you need to be completely honest with her. If she's anything like me, she cannot take a hint.
My current relationship consists of me being a total extrovert, unafraid of telling my boyfriend that I love him and that I adore him, while he's a total introvert...who says the L word very scarcely.
What I find with our total personality clash is that straight up honesty is the only way that I understand.
If she truly loves you, she'll understand and adapt I'm sure.
...............................
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (28 January 2011):
Hi there. Perhaps she is a little insecure.
It's possible that she wants to get serious now, but you are not at the same place in your life. Women often want to move towards that place sooner than a man. So it's possible this is what's happening - for her.
The constantly saying to you - "I Love You", could be her way of moving you towards "Happily Ever After". Kind of a hint perhaps.
After 2 years in a relationship, quite often things are proceeding towards marriage, kids, mortgages, or there is some indication of that happening - a hint at least.
She might be wondering what is happening as far as the future is concerned.
I'd say this is what is behind this behaviour.
Yes, you are right if you did say something, she would then feel self-conscious, and she might well stop altogether, so you can't say much. It's a bit of a challenge really. Best choice - say nothing about it.
If on the other hand, you were to have a talk about the future - when you are ready for it, and then she knew where she stood with you, she would probably stop saying it so much.
I really believe that's the answer - she wants to know where she stands with you. Is there a future for you and her, or not? That's her hidden question.
...............................
|
