A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:What is the best approach to finding a FWB? I'm not trying to be crude, but I'm done with dating right now and I really just want some good old fashioned sex with no emotions involved. My problem is, I've never done it before. Sure I had sex, but those were with guys I was dating. Not just finding someone who wants a roll in the hay and to be on their way. Do I need to put in as much effort as I would if I was dating the guy (i.e. Shaving pubic hair)??? I must sound really inexperienced, but this whole FWB is new to me
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2012): FWB are usually pretty crude. This is not the movies, there are real dangers in what you seek. My advice....don't do it. There are way too many cons. Go rub one out to a few love songs and a couple of beers.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (23 August 2012):
 Best approach? Safety is absolute key. When engaging in casual sex, even with a FWB, you must take every precaution to avoid pregnancy and STD. If a guy puts you on a guilt trip over condoms, he's not the one for you. Be safe at all times, because the very nature of FWB allows for multiple partners, so if he's sleeping around, that adds risk.
Also, if you have someone you know who is an actual friend or acquaintance, those are a good place to start. However, avoid co-workers. Those have "awkward" written all over them in neon lights, because FWB's are oftentimes a short term affair. Also, stay as far away from married guys as possible. That is baggage you'll regret for the rest of your life, not to mention inviting drama the likes of which you've never seen.
The internet is one place to find FWB's, but tread very carefully on that one. That's even riskier. Becoming a regular at a bar or night club where you see the same circle of people there is a possible place too.
As for shaving or personal hygiene, sure you need to put in the effort. You don't necessarily have to shave clean constantly depending on your FWB's tastes, but you should be well-groomed and clean at all times. Many guys are okay with well trimmed as well. The point is that just because it's an FWB and not a boyfriend, you don't need to allow the overgrown Sherwood Forest.
Trust me, I'm not judging you a bit, and it's every bit as okay for you to have an FWB as well as it is for a guy, but those aren't ideal situations. You're at risk for becoming emotionally attached as well, and so many start as FWB, then someone bonds emotionally while the other doesn't, and it ends badly. It could be you or the guy you're with. Sounds like you're in it for the right reasons though, as so many other women agree to it in hopes that giving up sex makes their partners fall for them, and that almost never happens.
So, to sum up, be safe, be careful, be hygienic, no married guys, and enjoy while it lasts!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2012): Why not just buy a vibrator and watch some porn? Same effect minus the possibility of STD's, falling for someone, confusion and drama FWB bring. Just a thought.
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