A
female
age
41-50,
*nonymous_Chick
writes:I have wrote in before about my husband we have been married a 1 year 8 months i'm 30 he's 49.. We meet in March 09 married May 09 I truely love him with all my but the marriage has had problems,he was married for 15 year with 2 children he cheated then she cheated just anger fighting porno addiction the divorce was final in 2008 but had been seperated for a while.. When we meet had gotton out of 4 year relationship 6 months in he became confused said we got married fast and he felt guilty because she had cancer so he was thinking to going back to her she wanted him to anull the marriage he figured she just wanted his money and sercurity he didn't he stayed I forgave him.. I worked as a live in nurse so I was gone 4 days but driving at night for an hour to go home feed him go to sleep up by 4am take him to work then drive back to work and I did this every day.Next I had to battle him with porn addiction which I didn't know about prior to marriage I would he's looking at porn on his phone porn he damn near drove me crazy! I begged him stop cried prayed and he would still try to do it behind my back just sickening.. Not to mention he just not too long before got out of a 15 year marriage full drama fighting cheating and porn addiction... I'm running back and forth to lawyers to help him find his kids because the ex wife is bitter because they divorced she ran off with the kids. We fighting about porn he was always comparing me to his ex wife saying I reminded him of her because of my attitude, I had to stop working because I could not be a live in nurse and be married so no working and I make the money is constantly thrown in my face! You just like my ex she never wanted to work.. I did not know I was marrying a selfish ass hole! He provides for me I and give me access to all the money and mess he does something stupid he trys to buy me but out side of that he does not kiss hug rub or touch me unless were having sex he said I'm not a mushy person I don't show my love that way! He has said alot jacked up mean things to me and all I did this whole marriage is cry and cry! As I right this he's in another room like always no communication he's doing what ever in another room and I'm alone I have to beg for a kiss beg for a hug beg him to go any where beg for attention. I tried to talk and if he does not feel like answering he won't! He laughs with him friends on the phone and at work but with me he's an ass I feel like this is some form of control.. I love my husband dearly and I have Bern fighting for my marriage but I can't do it alone I have asked for counseling but he says he will but never go. I had an emotion break down due to all this it gave me anxiety Im better now but I was messed up for the last 6 months depressed in bed which I got no support just encored and told to snap out of it! I do eating thing for I'm good to him everytime we get in a fight he always plays the divorce card or you can leave never can we talk it out he just goes silent he knows I don't want to leave so he plays the threat game.. I at my whits end trying to figure him out and what the problem is I'm in Counseling my self.. I was a happy beautiful nice body no kids 29 year old women before this now I'm stressed depressed and tired. He never wants to go any where just staying the house and when we do he's looking at every women with a big butt and a tight clothing! I have a beyonce body why are you looking at them! I'm crying right now because after all the crap I went threw with court and lawyers getting cussed out by his ex wife fight for him bacause I felt bad and because I love him,the kids are coming next week and it's been 5 years since he seen them he told me when he picks them up I should home because he does not want to spring me on them soon as they get off the plane.I have been a great wife dinner every night house clean you can eat off the floor I gave him baths it was all about him I love him and had his best interests at heart, but now he is making it seem like I want a free ride and he said all the women in his life used him and he said he refuses to be used again! I have been off for a year he asked me for the whole year to get to get a job or go to school or both and I didn't I was going threw an emotional break down due to stress in the marriage. Now I enroll in school he says look how long it took you so 3 days before the kids arrive he turned on me he didn't want me at the airport.. His ex wife has been a real pain she was mad that he remarried when he said the kids were coming after not seeing them for 5 years, I knew she was up to something. He was outside having conversations with her behind my back telling about our marriage he did not tell me anything about when the kids were coming he was on the phone sharing his happiness with everyone but me and i'm the one who was fighting for almost 2 years! He said he did not know if he wanted the marriage the age diffrence I never worked in a year exuses.. When the kids came he became even more cold distant did not where his wedding ring.. The whole time the kids were here he never invited me out with them he lefted me home while they went shopping every day and to dinner he took all the money which he hid and blew $6000 and gave me $400 to get my hair done and complained about that for 4 days..The kids were respectful but sneaky playing double agent for there mother..He isolated me from the family he did not hold real conversations with me very stand offish I would call him by his nick name he would not answer in front of the kids he was on the phone with the mother every day laughing and talking I even over heard him tell her that he told me it was over and all he wants is his kids now. This is the same evil woman that the whole family talks about she just cussed you out now shes a saint! She called here asking how im I treating them he said she don't have any other choice but to act right this is my house! It was so akward for those 2 weeks mind you slept me every night and sex with me but around the kids he was and ASS! He just got like this from one day to the next i'm so hurt I don't know what to doI have wrote in before about my husband we have been married a 1 year 8 months i'm 30 he's 49.. We meet in March 09 married May 09 I truely love him with all my but the marriage has had problems,he was married for 15 year with 2 children he cheated then she cheated just anger fighting porno addiction the divorce was final in 2008 but had been seperated for a while.. When we meet had gotton out of 4 year relationship 6 months in he became confused said we got married fast and he felt guilty because she had cancer so he was thinking to going back to her she wanted him to anull the marriage he figured she just wanted his money and sercurity he didn't he stayed I forgave him.. I worked as a live in nurse so I was gone 4 days but driving at night for an hour to go home feed him go to sleep up by 4am take him to work then drive back to work and I did this every day.Next I had to battle him with porn addiction which I didn't know about prior to marriage I would he's looking at porn on his phone porn he damn near drove me crazy! I begged him stop cried prayed and he would still try to do it behind my back just sickening.. Not to mention he just not too long before got out of a 15 year marriage full drama fighting cheating and porn addiction... I'm running back and forth to lawyers to help him find his kids because the ex wife is bitter because they divorced she ran off with the kids. We fighting about porn he was always comparing me to his ex wife saying I reminded him of her because of my attitude, I had to stop working because I could not be a live in nurse and be married so no working and I make the money is constantly thrown in my face! You just like my ex she never wanted to work.. I did not know I was marrying a selfish ass hole! He provides for me I and give me access to all the money and mess he does something stupid he trys to buy me but out side of that he does not kiss hug rub or touch me unless were having sex he said I'm not a mushy person I don't show my love that way! He has said alot jacked up mean things to me and all I did this whole marriage is cry and cry! As I right this he's in another room like always no communication he's doing what ever in another room and I'm alone I have to beg for a kiss beg for a hug beg him to go any where beg for attention. I tried to talk and if he does not feel like answering he won't! He laughs with him friends on the phone and at work but with me he's an ass I feel like this is some form of control.. I love my husband dearly and I have Bern fighting for my marriage but I can't do it alone I have asked for counseling but he says he will but never go. I had an emotion break down due to all this it gave me anxiety Im better now but I was messed up for the last 6 months depressed in bed which I got no support just encored and told to snap out of it! I do eating thing for I'm good to him everytime we get in a fight he always plays the divorce card or you can leave never can we talk it out he just goes silent he knows I don't want to leave so he plays the threat game.. I at my whits end trying to figure him out and what the problem is I'm in Counseling my self.. I was a happy beautiful nice body no kids 29 year old women before this now I'm stressed depressed and tired. He never wants to go any where just staying the house and when we do he's looking at every women with a big butt and a tight clothing! I have a beyonce body why are you looking at them! I'm crying right now because after all the crap I went threw with court and lawyers getting cussed out by his ex wife fight for him bacause I felt bad and because I love him,the kids are coming next week and it's been 5 years since he seen them he told me when he picks them up I should home because he does not want to spring me on them soon as they get off the plane.I have been a great wife dinner every night house clean you can eat off the floor I gave him baths it was all about him I love him and had his best interests at heart, but now he is making it seem like I want a free ride and he said all the women in his life used him and he said he refuses to be used again! I have been off for a year he asked me for the whole year to get to get a job or go to school or both and I didn't I was going threw an emotional break down due to stress in the marriage. Now I enroll in school he says look how long it took you so 3 days before the kids arrive he turned on me he didn't want me at the airport.. His ex wife has been a real pain she was mad that he remarried when he said the kids were coming after not seeing them for 5 years, I knew she was up to something. He was outside having conversations with her behind my back telling about our marriage he did not tell me anything about when the kids were coming he was on the phone sharing his happiness with everyone but me and i'm the one who was fighting for almost 2 years! He said he did not know if he wanted the marriage the age diffrence I never worked in a year exuses.. When the kids came he became even more cold distant did not where his wedding ring.. The whole time the kids were here he never invited me out with them he lefted me home while they went shopping every day and to dinner he took all the money which he hid and blew $6000 and gave me $400 to get my hair done and complained about that for 4 days..The kids were respectful but sneaky playing double agent for there mother..He isolated me from the family he did not hold real conversations with me very stand offish I would call him by his nick name he would not answer in front of the kids he was on the phone with the mother every day laughing and talking I even over heard him tell her that he told me it was over and all he wants is his kids now. This is the same evil woman that the whole family talks about she just cussed you out now shes a saint! She called here asking how im I treating them he said she don't have any other choice but to act right this is my house! It was so akward for those 2 weeks mind you slept me every night and sex with me but around the kids he was and ASS! He just got like this from one day to the next i'm so hurt I don't know what to doI have wrote in before about my husband we have been married a 1 year 8 months i'm 30 he's 49.. We meet in March 09 married May 09 I truely love him with all my but the marriage has had problems,he was married for 15 year with 2 children he cheated then she cheated just anger fighting porno addiction the divorce was final in 2008 but had been seperated for a while.. When we meet had gotton out of 4 year relationship 6 months in he became confused said we got married fast and he felt guilty because she had cancer so he was thinking to going back to her she wanted him to anull the marriage he figured she just wanted his money and sercurity he didn't he stayed I forgave him.. I worked as a live in nurse so I was gone 4 days but driving at night for an hour to go home feed him go to sleep up by 4am take him to work then drive back to work and I did this every day.Next I had to battle him with porn addiction which I didn't know about prior to marriage I would he's looking at porn on his phone porn he damn near drove me crazy! I begged him stop cried prayed and he would still try to do it behind my back just sickening.. Not to mention he just not too long before got out of a 15 year marriage full drama fighting cheating and porn addiction... I'm running back and forth to lawyers to help him find his kids because the ex wife is bitter because they divorced she ran off with the kids. We fighting about porn he was always comparing me to his ex wife saying I reminded him of her because of my attitude, I had to stop working because I could not be a live in nurse and be married so no working and I make the money is constantly thrown in my face! You just like my ex she never wanted to work.. I did not know I was marrying a selfish ass hole! He provides for me I and give me access to all the money and mess he does something stupid he trys to buy me but out side of that he does not kiss hug rub or touch me unless were having sex he said I'm not a mushy person I don't show my love that way! He has said alot jacked up mean things to me and all I did this whole marriage is cry and cry! As I right this he's in another room like always no communication he's doing what ever in another room and I'm alone I have to beg for a kiss beg for a hug beg him to go any where beg for attention. I tried to talk and if he does not feel like answering he won't! He laughs with him friends on the phone and at work but with me he's an ass I feel like this is some form of control.. I love my husband dearly and I have been fighting for my marriage but I can't do it alone I have asked for counseling but he says he will but never go. I had an emotion break down due to all this it gave me anxiety Im better now but I was messed up for the last 6 months depressed in bed which I got no support just encored and told to snap out of it! I do eating thing for I'm good to him everytime we get in a fight he always plays the divorce card or you can leave never can we talk it out he just goes silent he knows I don't want to leave so he plays the threat game.. I at my whits end trying to figure him out and what the problem is I'm in Counseling my self.. I was a happy beautiful nice body no kids 29 year old women before this now I'm stressed depressed and tired. He never wants to go any where just staying the house and when we do he's looking at every women with a big butt and a tight clothing! I have a beyonce body why are you looking at them! I'm crying right now because after all the crap I went threw with court and lawyers getting cussed out by his ex wife fight for him bacause I felt bad and because I love him,the kids are coming next week and it's been 5 years since he seen them he told me when he picks them up I should home because he does not want to spring me on them soon as they get off the plane.I have been a great wife dinner every night house clean you can eat off the floor I gave him baths it was all about him I love him and had his best interests at heart, but now he is making it seem like I want a free ride and he said all the women in his life used him and he said he refuses to be used again! I have been off for a year he asked me for the whole year to get to get a job or go to school or both and I didn't I was going threw an emotional break down due to stress in the marriage. Now I enroll in school he says look how long it took you so 3 days before the kids arrive he turned on me he didn't want me at the airport.. His ex wife has been a real pain she was mad that he remarried when he said the kids were coming after not seeing them for 5 years, I knew she was up to something. He was outside having conversations with her behind my back telling about our marriage he did not tell me anything about when the kids were coming he was on the phone sharing his happiness with everyone but me and i'm the one who was fighting for almost 2 years! He said he did not know if he wanted the marriage the age diffrence I never worked in a year exuses.. When the kids came he became even more cold distant did not where his wedding ring.. The whole time the kids were here he never invited me out with them he lefted me home while they went shopping every day and to dinner he took all the money which he hid and blew $6000 and gave me $400 to get my hair done and complained about that for 4 days..The kids were respectful but sneaky playing double agent for there mother..He isolated me from the family he did not hold real conversations with me very stand offish I would call him by his nick name he would not answer in front of the kids he was on the phone with the mother every day laughing and talking I even over heard him tell her that he told me it was over and all he wants is his kids now so I called him in the room he said sorry we are going to work it out, I said what are you going to tell your ex he said will tell her he's not leaving 2 days later back to the same attitude saying he is confused.This is the same evil woman that the whole family talks about she just cussed you out now shes a saint! She called here asking how im I treating them he said she don't have any other choice but to act right this is my house! It was so akward for those 2 weeks mind you slept me every night and sex with me but around the kids he was and ASS! He just got like this from one day to the next i'm so hurt I don't know what to do I'm in so much pain that my husband would turn on me like that! Now there gone and he said he refuses to be used again he wants to be alone if his ex wife wont take him back. He said I did not work or go to school all I want to is a free ride and I want to get pregnant and use the baby as a excuse not to work and I don't love him I just love the free ride then the age difference.. I have begged him to save this marriage I don't want a divorce he promised me that we did not get married to get a divorce.. I have not wronged this man in any way just loved him yeah I nagged about the porn and I was jealous and didn't do the school or work thing did I push the bible and religon on him because I was changing and he was not ready but I love him and I had no evil intentions for this marriage just good things.. I broke down crying last night while we were talking he can barely look me in the face I was cry histrically and asking him why me!I have done nothing but love you why! He finally said he has to go work at 4am he goes in the extra bedroom and locks the door and I knock until he opens it and I said what do think i'm going to kill you he said as emotional as I im maybe I asked him to sleep with me he was sleeping with me while the kids were then now you want to stop,the very thought of my husband leaving makes me sick I love him so much why would a man change like that he said he was giving me chances.. My god mom say he asked you to get a job and go to school for a year and you didnt do he is at the age where he does not want to make the same mistakes and he does not want to take care of an able body women that's turn off and he has done that for every women in his life,She said it get a job things will change and that he is playing a game and he wants you to chase him.. What makes a man turn like this? Is it me? I it the ex wife? He says it's him!Is he going threw a midlife crisis after he seen the kids and he realized all the wrong he done and his dad and him cleared the air after the dad was never really close to him and his brothers all there life.. He told his dad he was not happy I said you never told me that!His dad said do what makes you happy what is that being with a crazy ex wife that really just wants the money the kids are 17 and 16 both turning 16 and 18 in March and april you can not relive what you messed up..I think he is so caught up in emotion he is not thinking.. He said I have 7 months until the lease is up to get it togeter.. I'm desperate to save my marriage is there still time?
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at work, depressed, divorce, ex-wife, his ex, jealous, money, my ex, porn, wedding Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2011): I have the same problem,This is my second marriage he wanted to get married very badly.It took me a yr to answer him and I have never felt this way about someone we have everything in common.We do everything together and lately all we do is fight.I dnt want to lose him.I mean he is my life he gets me through my days use to make me feel like a princess now I feel like I am just a pain.He dnt want me around him sometimes and when he does he wants sex
A
female
reader, Anonymous_Chick +, writes (9 January 2011):
Anonymous_Chick is verified as being by the original poster of the question This is a very hard situation if only I would have known.. I made some mistakes in the marriage but it's not that serious to me but maybe it's serious to him.. It just saddens me that my husband would do that.
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A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (8 January 2011):
 i have been married and similar to you, i married him before i had gotten to know him well enough and when i did get to know him i didn't like what i saw!
good luck, i hope you can either resolve the problems, learn to live with them or find the courage to leave. may be that's an unhelpful answer, but i think they are the only 3 choices you've got
x
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A
female
reader, Anonymous_Chick +, writes (8 January 2011):
Anonymous_Chick is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the reply.. Seems like people answer the more shallow questions more than serious ones. Can I get more replys please from people that have been married or have good advice please.
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (8 January 2011):
hi
you say you love him. what qualities does he have that you love? coz all you have wrote here is his bad points. there are so many things that you don't like about him, are you REALLY expecting him to change? and if you truly love him like yo say you do you would not WANT him to change! i suggest that you write all his good points and bad points down like so
good points bad points
1 1
2 2
3 3
and so on.. coz your thoughts about him seem very jumbled and i think this will help you to concentrate on how you feel. look, he is 49 now and if he still doesn't know how to treat a woman, i guess he never will. do you need him financially? is that part of why you stay? it seems as if he would rather you left (from what you have told us) if you do go, you will get over him. the time it will take for you to
get over him will (i think its sensible to say) be less than remaining with someone and feeling miserable year after year. you did get married too quick, and its turned out that when you got to know each other you didn't like each other
xx
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