A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm in a bit of a mess and need some help. I take responsibility for what's happened as it's my own stupid fault!About 8 months ago I got a part time job in a restaurant working just fri and sat evenings and the occasional sunday. I already have another full time job but need the extra cash.Now since I started work at restaurant I had the hugest crush on my manager, he is very confident and charming and flirty. He always used to hint we should go for a drink but I always said no because there was a side to him I didn't like, he can be very nasty and lose his temper. Now his brother also works there. He isn't as nice looking or has that charisma but he is alot kinder and nicer natured.Now he asked me out for a drink- the brother and I agreed as I felt so low and bored. We have become an item but I still have feelings for the other 1 and when he got himself a girlfriend I was conssimed by jelousy even though I'd never go out him anyway.This is unfair to my bf but I don't want to leave him as I'm scared I won't find anyone who loves and cares for me as much as him. Also his parents treat me like their daughter and I know being part of that family I will be taken care of. I sound selfish but let me assure you I will NEVER have an affair or do anything behind my bf back!!Do I stay or do I go???
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female
reader, Neanthia  +, writes (11 April 2010):
 Yeah I'm 13 and your probably not going to listen too much to me, but like you I have liked two guys at the same time. One was a year and a half older but I'd known him for 3 years as an awesome friend, my best friend in fact, and the other guy I met when I started Junior High. While I was fawning over the first guy, the second guy asked me to a dance as friends, I said yes since the first guy, my best friend didn't go to the same school as me. Then lo and behold ever since then I couldn't get the second guy out of my mind. He kept popping up whenever I'd daydream about my best friend, and before I knew it I was day dreaming about him more and more. I thought I'd had a change of heart. So when a friend tried to hook us up, I didn't complain and for awhile I felt like I might be selfish and that I was stringing this guy along, but then I realized I did love him and that my best friend was that, just a best friend (do not say I'm too young to know what love is because that's really annoying even if you think its true) Ask yourself if you really love him compare them if you must, their actions that is, but the only one you'd be fooling is yourself if you left someone who loved you for someone you have uncertain feelings for who has uncertain feelings in return, or if you stay with someone you don't love. Your asking the people on this site to tell you what to do, but that's something only you can decide.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2010): this actually happened to me...i had a crush on a guy -T for years...he was a huge flirt and i would go to his brother-J about it and ...well J fell in love with me. even when i fell in love with J, there were always feelings for the first one. i made a choice. and concentrated on the one who loved me. i never played him...in fact i married him. and though for years there was a little soft spot for T...today it is 30 years later and everytime i see T and his wife and family...it makes me sooooo glad i made the right choice. my guy is my hero and his brother is a total wuss. no backbone, just ick. lok.... i wouldnt advise you to stick with the good guy though if you dont really love him. in my case i went against his whole family, because T was the pet...but i have never ever regretted my choice. and to a certain extent love is always about choices. again never play the guy you are with, dont stay if you dont love him. but if you do, then i say stick it out. some day, the other guy will do enough stupid things you will get over the crush, and then it will just be funny that you ever fancied him. at least thats how it worked for me. there came a night in my life that i had to choose. i went out with T...and while we were out, my guy showed up, took me aside and said....im not going to play this game...its me or him. its time to choose. i made my choice, and he went and had a talk with T. then he came back and said im taking you home. come to find out T had just taken me out to get at J...but i didnt know it at the time.
my sister in law and i have a running joke over who got the better brother...and i never say it, but i wouldnt have hers on a silver platter.
i would say if you dont love the brother you are with, break it off but dont...dont go out with his brother. lol
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