A
male
age
30-35,
* dark stranger
writes:I started dating my ex almost 2 years ago now... we were together for about 10 months when due to issues outside of our control we split up mutually... there were no hard feelings and we remained friends.However shortly after that (about 1 month) me and one of her closer friends started dating (i know... it was a horrible thing to do.. but it just kinda happened...) we've been together for a while now (many months) and its working pretty well... i still talk to my ex and we're still friends... however... recently my life turned to crap, a lot of bad things happened and i started talking to my ex a lot more. I still love her, i never really stopped, i was just hiding it because i needed to be in a relationship at that time and my current gf fitted the bill. I do enjoy being with my current gf, don't get me wrong the relationship is great. its just that i connect more with my ex... we work better together... even when im just talking to her as friends as we have been for months she cheers me up.I found out about 3 months into my CURRENT relationship that my ex still liked me... i don't know if that is still the case... she never told me, i found out from other sources (reliable ones). and just yesterday i found out that my current girlfriend is beginning to have issues with this relationship... what should i do... if i dump my gf and go for my ex its being even more of a two faced asshole... and if i stay with my current girlfriend it looks like we're not gonna last too much longer anyway... I really want to date my ex again... we never should of split up... neither of us wanted to do it. i never should have dated her friend either... what should i do...
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (10 February 2009):
 Well the first thing you need to do is leave your current girlfriend - it isnt fair to her that you dont have strong feelings for her anymore and the longer you leave it the more you will end up hurting her.
If you and your ex both want to give it another go then there isnt anything anyone can do to stop you, but out of respect for your current girlfriend I think you should wait a couple of months. If you really love your ex then you will be willing to wait - 8 weeks isnt a long time and it would be kinder for your current girlfriend.
You made the mistake of having the relationship with your girlfriend in the first place - while there is no way to take it back you can do the right thing towards her, especially when you say the relationship is great. I know it will be hard to stay away from your ex seen as you want to be with her but remember that your current girlfriend is friends with your ex - it will do you both a favour to stay away from each other for a while.
I hope you have the stregnth to do the right thing - be respectful to your current girlfriend and in the end you will get what you want. Remember, good things come to those who wait!
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