A
male
age
41-50,
*abs22h
writes:Hi everybody!okay, at 24 I have been in a steady relationship for nearly 10 months with an awesome guy.I do enjoy my first real gay relationship. He is sweet and attentive and loving and caring etc. Yet I have cheated on him three times... the first time was around the six month mark. and the last time was last night! I always feel very guilty afterwards but obviously not so much in the hunt on the net for guys. Question: Am I just addicted to sex? Am I sabotaging the relationship? Do I really love him? How could I love him if I cheat on him? I told him about one of the times I've cheated and he took it really badly not surprisingly. But we managaed to work it out and are still togther. After the this time though I am not sure if HE'LL STILL want to be with me. Is it wise to tell him? please help!
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female
reader, flower girl  +, writes (24 July 2007):
 I don't think you can really love him, because i know very well that i would never cheat on my husband.
I love sex but it does not make me want to go elsewhere for it i just go to him.
Personally i think you should tell him because this sort of thing always comes back to bite you on the arse at some point, and he really does not deserve to be treated like this.
Take care.xx.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2007): Some people, for whatever reason, are not able to commit to one person for a period of time and there may be many issues causing this behaviour. I would try and answer that question - is commitment difficult for you generally? Are you unable to change other things in your life but find it easy to manage this 'cheating' so this is the scapegoat? Is this man not enough for you and you are trying to get out of it and actually want him to find out? It is a complicated situation and you need to take a step back before you do it again. If your boyfriend finds out he will be very hurt and, as you say you care so much for him, your actions are not tallying up. I have cheated before and the guilt is something you have to live with however once you know why there is no reason why you can't tackle that issue and your boyfriend can benefit from the 'new you' without getting hurt in the process. You are playing with fire at the moment - maybe it is the excitement you are addicted to? Someone once said to me "commitment is the foundation to personal growth" - I wish I had understood that earlier. You have a chance to have a brilliant relationship, a great sex life as trust and understanding grows - don't keep sabotaging it!
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A
male
reader, blazee +, writes (24 July 2007):
 no it is not a smart thing to tell him..really i am saying this becasue it is you asking the question and i am thinking of a way to help you but i dont exactly agree with what has happend :( of course i dont know you and dont know why you done it so please dont take any of the above to seriously :)um if you really want him? dont tell him and try to get over it. in the end if you to brake up..you will realize who you really want and what you have lost. but sometimes you have to lose something to realize what you had so next time you wont make the same mistake.please realize if he had come on here after you had cheated on him the first time most people would be telling him to run :) so you are very lucky, please dont muck this up because you two obviousaly have something special.
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