A
female
age
41-50,
*na Q
writes:So I've been dating this really great guy for about a month now and am having a hard time wondering whether things are moving in the right direction in terms of pace and interest level. We met online and have been on 7 dates (yes still counting lol) so far in 20 days. He had to travel for 10 days recently but called me once while he was away. The day after he got back in town he called for another date.We see e/o on average once during the week and once on the weekend. He initiates all of our contact and so far it feels like he really is into me. I respond to all contact but never initiate this early as a rule. When we are together he is lovingly affectionate and holds my hand, treats me like his girl.I can't help however but wonder if it should worry me that we don't spend more time together on the weekends when we are both not really working (he does work from home sometimes on weekends to catch up). He usually asks me out on Friday night and then we have a great time, I stay the night and we wake together, makes me coffee and toast or we go to brunch and then I don't see or hear from him the rest of the weekend. We usually leave on sweet terms kissing and hugging but then I feel a bit empty:/I suppose it's good in a sense bc my past relationships were very codependent and I felt smothered a lot. I did elude to a strong dislike for codependency and a fondness for indepence in relationships in my dating profile so perhaps he is pacing it for us. I know he is looking for LTR and that he asked his last partner earlier in the year to take it to the next level and she wasn't interested so it does give me hope that he does want something serious- I just want it to be with me! :-) The worst part is that if I didn't already feel insecure, when ppl asked me if I saw him Saturday night and I say no they look at me like its a bad sign - creating even more insecurity. Which leads me to here...should I be worried?? Or does he seem genuinely into me despite not asking me to spend more weekend time together.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (6 August 2013):
 If you get together once on the weekend, then in fact you do get together on the weekend. It doesn't have to be the whole weekend. In fact it's best if it isn't. You'll want some time on your own to do your own thing qand weekdays aren't the same.
No reason to think he isn't interested. And the space he gives you has little to do with your stated preference. If he was the clingy sort, he'd be all over you from the start regardless of what you said. Clingy people don't really care about what others want.
However, I will say that it is WAAAAAYYY too soon to be spending the night together. Sex or no sex. That is too intimate at this early stage.
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