A
female
age
30-35,
*LH
writes:Just curious as to what people think of the whole "friends with benefits" idea. I mean, what defines a relationship as that and do you think it's bad or trashy? I feel like I'm in that situation right now with my best friend. We used to date and neither of us has met anyone else. I know I'm in love with him so I don't feel bad about the "benefits" but we never discussed what we are...We go out all the time and spend our whole weekends together. They seem like "dates" like dinner and movies, etc. But I just don't know!
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female
reader, SLH +, writes (2 April 2010):
SLH is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAnother question about this. Do you guys think it's equally bad if we are not having actual sex, just manual and oral stuff...? Because to me, I personally think actual sex would make it worse...
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2010): My advice is don't do it. I was friends with this one girl since elementary school. We were never romantically involved and maintained that friendship into adulthood. Since neither one of us were in a relationship we would have sex with no strings attached when we started. We did not have sex if either one of us was in a relationship. When I met the woman I married she didn't want me around my fwb. I can't say that I blame her. I do understand. Even though I dated other women that I was faithful too it causes a lot of insecurity for future relationships. In the end I am no longer in touch with my childhood friend. I strong recommend not doing it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2010): Most FWB sitautions basically amount to a girl trying to screw a guy into giving him a relationship, and of course it won't work because the guy has no reason to buy the cow while he's getting the milk for free.
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (29 March 2010):
 I don't think FWB is a bad thing, but the problem is 99 times out of 100 they will not work. Someone always gets attached, therefor when the other one starts seeing somebody else the other gets hurt. Your case is a perfect example... you say you are in love with him. What happens when he meets someone else?There is the rare chance that it could turn into more of a relationship, but more times then not it's just a casual sexual relationship for ONE of the two. On the extreme rare case, it can truly be just casual sex between 2 friends who are not attached. Eventually it will just fade away once the 2 grow apart.Anyway, in your case it does not sound like friends with benefits. While I'd say he's just using you for sex, you did mention you are going out to dinners and movies so it could just be more or he may just be leaving his options open incase he meets someone else.
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