A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi all,i a have been with my partner for two years and we have a 9 month old baby, for about the last 18 months our relationship has changed somewhat, where no matter what i do its not the right thing and i'm constantly put down or criticised for what i do, i work full time, do all the cooking and most of the house work none of which is ever right. My partner is a home mum and takes care of the babes needs which i tend to get pushed out of, as anything i try to do for the baby is also wrong. I also feel that my partner has pushed "me" out of the "us in our relationship", anytime i try to get closer the more she pulls away and it not really a sex thing more of togetherness thing. I have tried to talk to her about the way i getting treated and the way it makes me feel, but my feelings are demeed to be unjust and when i ask why she is being like this, i get more critisims and then she will leave the house for a few days and stay with her parents (taking the baby with her). This last time happened a couple of weeks ago and its kinda been the last straw for me as she hasn't been back since, i havent done the chasing after her routine. I'm still confused on why she's being like this in the first place, she wont talk to me about it. she knows her actions towards me aren't right as she will be nice as pie to me infront of company, but thinks i'm her personal verbal punch bag when no-ones around.Problem is my heart still loves the woman i fell in love with, but i dont know if i can reconcile this last break up as i cant go on like this either. any thoughts?
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2007): This sounds very much like post-natal depression.
She might need a fair bit of persuasion to get treatment for it, because she probably doesn't think there's a problem.
All you can do is try to get her to see her doctor, and if you can't succeed, ask her family to have a word with her because they might just recognise she has a problem and she might just listen to them.
Hang in there - it could be a long journey for you, but if you love her enough, and if you don't throw your dummy out of your pram in the meantime, it will all come right in time.
Phil
A
female
reader, sweetlilpeachx69  +, writes (26 September 2007):
well post baby blues is common . i went thru it with the man i got with when my son was 2 months and yes it take a toll on the relationship. give her a lil time ! did she have a c-section ? i did and it made me feel like i was a failure at everything cause i couldnt even have a baby right!!granted he was 9 lbs 4 oz and that was the reason for the c-section.. but it does make some women feel like they lost everything .. hope fully she will get over it as i did
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