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male
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anonymous
writes: I am in the early (honeymoon) stages of a relationship and most things are absoluetly fantastic, however one thing really bothers me and despite talking to my partner I seem not to be able to get a common understaning. I am compared regularly to their ex, i.e "that's how they made me feel", I have never, and would never compare my partner to any of my ex's as I find it distructive and disrespeectful to the new relationship, we're not comparing cars, or TV's here!I am reaching the point of dispair as I cannot continue being compared with someone in the past that has caused so much hurt and was absolutely not what I want to be like, I want a fresh start with my partner, not a life of being stood up next to them and compared with them!
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2006): As Camille has said, below...You are so right! Absolutely no one, male or female, should have to hear comparisons, like what is happening to you. Comparisons to a ex is unecessary, rude and it's disrespectful. She is referring to this guy but she's forgetting he's an ex bf for a reason. As a result, I do empathize with you as it must be annoying as hell to hear her put you in the same category as him. You need to set a hard and fast boundry here with her, because you know you are worth more than that. Tell her that. do it nicely, calmly and maturely. This may help her to open their eyes to reality and cherish what a good quality bf in you, that she has. Good luck, hun.
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female
reader, camille  +, writes (15 September 2006):
 If you have voiced your concerns and you're not being heard, that's also a problem within the relationship. You are totally right. If you've said exactly word for word what you finished your Q with and that didn't hit home, then I think maybe it's time to make the break. Time apart may make the message take on meaning. Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, confussed jane +, writes (15 September 2006):
talk to her about how you feel tell her.
she probally dont no so she cnt help you both need a seriously to have a convercation about this before you both split up.
i sorta no how you feel i always felt lyk my bf was comparing me to his exs and that they was better than me but yet why was he with me sometimes i still feel like that but now he knows how i feel he just dosent understand he maybe like urs tell her and then she mite well at least a wee bit better what you got to lose.
good luck xxxx
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