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female
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*liss
writes: Hi,I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 10 months (he's my first and the man I lost my virginity to) and I love him very much, but I've got a problem that I don't feel I can talk to him about because I'm scared of hurting him or making things awkward. In the 9 or so months we've been sleeping together, I've only orgasmed 3 or 4 times and I'm worried there's something wrong with me. I'm sure he doesn't realise this and I don't want to say because it's not his fault, but it's stopping me from feeling as connected to him during sex as I could be and I don't know what to do. It's not that I don't enjoy having sex with him, or that it doesn't feel good at all, but I just feel I'm missing out. But I'm worried it'd be selfish for me to risk hurting him by saying something just in case there's a solution.What do you think I should do?
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male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (15 September 2006):
 I think that you should talk to him. Relationship is about give and take. He will be willing to do more and you can also do more to make the experience more worthwhile. Though men have big egos when it comes to sex you have to talk to him in the most delicate manner. Communication is the key. How can he know that something is wrong if you never tell him? At least you have orgasmed. I have heard of women being married for 20 years who are yet to orgasm with their spouse. Good Luck.
A
female
reader, Green_Eyes +, writes (15 September 2006):
 If you worry too much about this, you won't be relaxed enough to orgasm! I know that's easier said than done though and there's really nothing wrong with you - we don't all orgasm every time. Foreplay's the easiest way to orgasm, and you'll find what gets you going the most the more you experiment. I think that you should bring this up with your boyfriend and just have fun with it!
Make it clear that it's nothing to do with him - you're just unsure about what really turns you on. After all, we're not like men & the average woman has to be REALLY warmed up before she can climax.
Make time for a special night when you can both explore each other & have a laugh with it at the same time. Even if you don't experience the wondrous 'O' you'll both have damned good fun trying! All the Best hun Xx
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