A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I want too break up with my girlfriend because i cant satisfy her sexually, ive asked her about it and she claims it could be better but she doesnt know what she wants when i ask her how, i want her to be happy both psychically and mentally. I know i cant please her because she isnt well i honestly just wholeheartedly believe i am not. And she wont show or tell me it because she has a good heart and she feels for me emotinally. We’ve been dating 2 weeks. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 October 2017):
 Everything BrownWolf said...
It's that simple. Really.
Making LOVE to a woman takes work. And your penis is NOT a magic wand that does all the work for you. There is no:" hey presto penis in vagina there are the orgasms!"
Quitting now is not going to make you better in bed. It's not going to make you a better lover. And it's NOT going to be much different with another girl. While not all girls are the same, and we don't all like the same things, do the same things - there are some BASICS to lovemaking that is GOOD to know if you WANT to be a good lover.
So you have discovered that you are not the super stud in the sheets and thus want to quit. But what about the next girl? And the next? Girls TALK to their friends... So you start figuring out HOW to get THIS girl to get her rocks off.. well, even that gets talked about too.... (just saying).
For your age group, NOT being the BEST EVER!! is pretty normal. Most people LEARN to get good at sex by doing it with a partner who is willing and learning too.
Find her erogenous zones and focus on the "minor" ones first then move onto the more intimate ones. Let me give you an example... Does she like her earlobes licked/sucked on? Or just nibble on the area below her ear and down the neck? The collarbone area? Caressing her gently (think feather light touches) shoulder, neck, arm - from the ankles to the thigh. Her on her belly and you start at the heels and caress all the way up to the base of the head. (hint can even use a feather but hands or lips will do just fine). The inside and outside of the ankles are sensitive spots with many nerve endings that correspond directly to the most important erogenous zones of the body, such as, the vagina, penis, uterus, and prostate.
The human body RESPONDS to touch.
Kissing is for most people a HUGE HUGE turn on.
Don't be in such a HURRY to insert your penis.
It takes MORE than two weeks to figure out what makes another person's body tick.
So TAKE your time in finding the spots on her body that makes her go:" mmm mmm mmm."
Your fingertips and tip of your tongue are BOTH very sensitive and can pick up her reaction to touches IF you pay attention.
I know your pride might have gotten a bump because she wasn't overwhelmed with your sexual prowess... Reality is very different from porn. (just saying).
You don't want a girl to FAKE it so your ego doesn't get hurt, right?
So get busy. (and always use protection).
A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (2 October 2017):
Well...You have an opportunity to learn to please someone who is hard to please...PERFECT!!!
You break up with her...and you will be a weak man indeed.
THINK!!!! If you learn to please a hard to please woman...and let's say things do not work out. The next woman who comes along, and test your skills...what do you think then?
Can you walk into the gym and pick up 500 pounds on the first day?? HELL NO!!! But if you train yourself, over time you just might be able to do just that.
Same thing applies...training.
Use your hands, lips, tongue, and every other sexual weapon you have...FIRST!!!! Then when she is ready to explode...that is when the penis comes in. It is there to finish what you started, not to start so you can finish before her.
Learn to make love to your woman...Not just to have sex. Any man can have sex...But a lover gets the respect.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2017): Hey,now slow down if you like this girl stick with her, it takes 2 people to have great sex ... date her fall in love and the sex will improve in time. . Keep talking about it even tho she is shy that will go in time too..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2017): She really wants to date other guys and she's being coy about it. Maybe two-weeks was only a try-out.
She won't come right-out and breakup with you. So she's telling you that you can't satisfy her; so you'll give-up in frustration and move on.
It's upsetting you. I don't know about continuing, if she's not being honest with you. Don't be a puppy. You're not a mind-reader. She drops a bomb on you like that and can't explain it? It may also mean you're just too inexperienced. So that makes you incompatible.
If she can't tell you why or how, there probably isn't much of a explanation other than she wants to date other guys.
Give-up and move on.
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A
male
reader, Allumeuse  +, writes (30 September 2017):
Top marks for wanting to satisfy your woman,but man you give up easily! Rome wasn't built in a day and you are so so young. That you are trying is what matters. Above all you need to be attentive to all the signals she is giving you. Here's a curve ball- there is a strong possibility given her age that even she doesn't know what's going on with her down there so you are an explorer in real undiscovered country! Use all your senses to find out what turns her on, do what makes her respond more and change direction if you feel you are going down a blind alley. Sometimes all you need to change is the tempo,a little faster a little slower. Use all your appendages! Fingers and tongue are most likely to succeed. Don't be a cock hero- men of all ages fail trying to be that guy. Above all persevere if you care about her. And if it doesn't work out-be prepared to start at the bottom floor with the next amazing woman. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (30 September 2017):
 Listen to me, friend. It takes a lot of practice sometimes to get a sexual relationship really working for both parties. It does not happen in 2 weeks.
Why the rush? You have only just started out. If she is of a similar age to you, she is probably too embarrassed to tell you what she needs. Or maybe she does not even know herself.
Get yourself a good book, or watch an educational video (not porn - porn sex works for hardly any women) and try experimenting with different touches in different places. Encourage her to give you feed back. Ask her "is that nice?" or "is this nicer?" and work out together what works best for her.
In the meantime, stop putting pressure on her to enjoy sex. Nothing is more of a dampener of sexual appetite than someone making you feel you SHOULD enjoy the sex.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (30 September 2017):
 First of all, it's only been two weeks! Slow down. Go on dates. Build a relationship.
Secondly, don't give up straight away. Try different things to find out what she likes - she may not know without trying things you both want to try.
Wear condoms every time, though.
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