A
male
age
41-50,
*osher
writes:Ive been in a relationship for over 9months now, previously were like rabbits, we both enjoy sex but for the past month my partner wont even let me touch her, always making excuses, in tired, ive got a headache, i feel yuck or when i go to cuddle or kiss her she will roll over or get out of bed. i dont understand. when i ask whats wrong all i get is, i dont feel like it all the time. its been over 1 month now,she still reassures me that she loves me and tells me dont feel as if you cant play with my body, but once again as soon as i try and touch her anywhere or cuddle the same happens again. please help im confused that someone can go from hot to cold so fast. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2008): I've experienced the same thing you are now, and guillaume is painfully right. This is an area men can not understand, and it is from this point forward, that because of his unknowing what is going on, he takes it as rejection and then begins to withdrawl, eventually, the relationship gets to a point one or both will have an affair.
I wish I could explain what is going on with her, but I can't, and my relationship, because of the hot and cold moments, has me bitter towards her. She can never explain it, as mention by guillaume, she may not even know herself.
Guys can get like this to during this process, where they get rejected and over time the forget it to heal, but remain numb, which she and others notice, and then she again is affect by your mood change and it becomes a vicious cycle.
Sometimes, we expect to much from each other.
If men and women could break this cycle your going through and described, we would live very happily together, she getting what she needs, and us men getting what we need.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2008): I began to do the same thing to my partner. I would not let her touch me. I was having an affair with another women.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2008): Im sorry to say it but she sounds like she is playing mind games with you. She wont let you touch her but one month after you break up she says she loves you???...it sounds as if she has someone else in the wings and is hedging her bets until she is sure shes found a better thing.
Men and woman play this game all the time and its very human but very hurtful. You must look at how this is affecting you. Its obvious that its confusing you and making you unhappy. I would tell her that you are going to give her space to sort out her issues (painful and hard to do, I know this) then stand well back and get on with organising your own life and if she really does love you then she will respect the break and come back to you on much better terms.
Don't allow yourself to be manipulated or toyed with...another woman wouldnt treat you in this way!!!
good luck
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