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I'm confused on my sexuality!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Health, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 June 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 13 June 2008)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

i dress like a boy.. act like a boy.. want to be a boy.. what does this mean? should i get a sex change or what? i know i'm a tomboy but i really want to be a boy. and have all the qualities of a boy. everyone calls me a little boy and i don't get offended at all, i just tell them i wish i was one. so what does this mean..? but i still like boys. i've thought about liking girls.. i might be bi. but i have a boyfriend.. and i still seem to get a lot of boys. so what's up with this?!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2008):

My sister was a so called "tomboy" when younger and today she is one of the most prim and proper ladies, happily married with two lovely kids, a devoted mother and wife.

Hormones do change as we go through differnet phases.

Be yourself and enjoy life!

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A female reader, Susan Strict United Kingdom +, writes (13 June 2008):

Susan Strict agony auntIt's fine. Be what you are and what you feel.

You most certainly shouldn't be thinking about a sex change. Quite apart from anything else, you said you like boys and they like you - and there's no doubt that many boys would much prefer to have a girl who is on their own wavelength, thinks more like them, than a "girly girl" who isn't.

At your age your sexuality is still changing and developing. It may be that later on you do feel that your inclination is more bisexual or lesbian. Equally likely, you will suddenly develop an overwhelming desire to become the "girly girl" that you haven't previously wanted to be. The chances are that you will settle somewhere in the middle of the extremes. Wait and see how you feel in a few years before making a firm decision that you "ought" to be going in one direction or another.

Also, it's important to realise that few people, male or female, are completely one thing or the other. Most of us girls have something male in us, just as most men have something female in them - and just as men can "get in touch with their female side" we can (and should??) "get in touch with our male side". The balance of maleness and femaleness varies from person to person. No two people are quite the same. Enjoy what you are, and wait to see what you become.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2008):

Well, you are young.

Decisions about sexuality are to be made after you can legally make them, not before.

Still, you are born a woman, so try not think of sex changes, I find them morally reprehensible at the very least and just plain fucked up at worst.

I wouldn't worry so much about it at your age though. Its most likely you are just a boyish girl and if you play your cards right (as you seem to do given the amount of male attention you seem to get) you will be able to use this to your advantage.

Flynn 24

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