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I'm confused! His sister hates me but she was the one who got us together, in the first place!

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 December 2005) 2 Answers - (Newest, 21 December 2007)
A female , *hell writes:

im going out with my best mates brother who is three years younger than me, the first 2months my best mate (his sister) was happy for us (she's the one who got us together), then she changed and turned against me, calling me horrible names, she said she was going to split us up and she didnt care what she had to do, but she will do it and she turned everyone in my year against me. she told her mum alot of lies about me like i was rubbing her nose in it, showing off and my boyfriends never allowed out the house, so he asked me to come round one day when his parents were out and they court us (not doing anything though), my friend lied to her mum and told her we'd "been up to stuff" and now her mum and dad hates me and has stopped me seeing and talking to my boyfriend, we only see each other at school. every lesson she bitched about me to everyone right in front of me. we've made friends but i cant trust her and i'm only her friend to keep the peace, but everyone in my year still hates me and no one will talk 2me. me and my boyfriend have stuck together and have been going out nearly 6months but im in my final year at school and considering stopping on at sixth form just to see him, because if i dont i will never see him again. but what do i do after that? his mum never lets him out the house and his whole family hate me. how can i make his family except me? every school holiday is horrible and it breaks my heart when i dont see him. we both really love each other and dont know what to do. please help

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2007):

Try not to get too hysterical about it. Concentrate on your studies because you only get one shot at those and you will have the rest of your life to find love. Don't put yourself out too much for a boy because although I know now that it seems like your whole world in a couple of years when you may very well have broken up (difficult to imagine I know but likely nonetheless) you will wonder why you put yourself through it all. Your 'friend' is clearly a bitch who can't handle it, my boyfriend's sister hates me too and it's a pain but I try to be civil and take the higher ground and everyone (including her parents) are totally on my side. Just be polite, don't bitch about her and don't look to score petty victories over her because it just won't help. Send her an xmas card, send the family a small thoughtful gift explaining your situation and leave it at that. In the end what will be will be and they are his family and have the right to 'protect' him where they see fit and judge anyone he goes out with. It's hard but you'll just have to respect their wishes and be the bigger person.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2005):

well the mistake u made was waging war with his sister in the first place. i am not saying it was ur fault but u shouldnt have let the hate seed grow on. dont worry this happens. anyway now what u can do to fix things is to repair ur friendship with ur friend. i know this is hard and u think it might not work but believe me dear i would explain to u now what u need to do.

first u should approach her when with a xmas card and tell her u r really sorry for everything that happened. that u miss her friendship alot and think u guys should quarrel no more. that u care bout her more than she thinks.

whatever her reaction dont panick just leave

second, send the family an xmas card and a small gift and say sorry for everthing.

it never hurts to apologise and i tell u a piece of their soul will be touched.

after doing this give them time.

Your boyfriend will grow to respect you for doing this.

i had the same problem myself but i worked it out u can too. just be patient trying not to say too much if she annoys u cos u have to do well with ur bf people no matter what.

hope this help. will be rooting for u. dont worry honey it will e well

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