A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ohkay so this is a little long but i need to say it all. and thru the whole thing dont think im a slut. im 13 and in 7th grade. one day on my bus i met this guy that i saw everyday and thot he was hot for along time. but i never talked to him. then i just did. i dont know why but i just randomly made conversation. we clicked from the start and i liked him. we gave each other our numbers so we could txt. then we did almost everyday for a week. i really liked him so i asked him out. he said we should hang out first so we went to the mall the next day. it was fun but it was me him and my friend(a girl) so she said he was hot but didnt like him. watevs so she got his number and gave it to another one of my good friends. and we had just gotton over a dif fight bout another guy. and so she starts txting lets call him tim. and her mallory. ohk so mallory starts txting tim and she acting rlly slutty so hed ask her out and he did. so then they dating for like a few days. but then he starts txting me again out of no where after they broke up and we were starting to txt as much as beforee. it was going great till i met his cuzin lets call him manny. i fell hard for manny. he ended up being a really bad person and a jerk. i sent him bad pics of me like bra and panties. luckily he deleted them but i was scared. tim stuck up for me thru all of this and again we started txting. and he said well would u ever trust me like manny and send me one and i said ya and he said prove it. sooo i sent him one. and he said u r beautiful. so i really started liking him. we flirted like everydayy. then one day he asks if he can come over in a week. and i said yeahh. this hasnt happened yet but it will in 2 days. hes coming over my house and my parents rnt homee. im just honestly confused tho cuz hes like bi polar with his feelings. PLEASE HELP!!!xoxo
View related questions:
bra , broke up, flirt Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks guyss. but im still not sure. he seemed like such a good guy. i doubt he will do anything when he comes overr. he hasnt even made out with a girl yett.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2009): He isn't bipolar with his feelings. He is playing games with you and he does not respect you because you are acting easy and like a slut....He is interested again because you sent him pictures of you in your bra, he wants to come over while your parents aren't home hoping you will go farther with him.
I know kids now days are doing these kind of sexual things, sending pictures and asking boys out at 13.
It is very inappropriate behavior and not becoming of a young lady. You are behaving like a slut and you are putting yourself in danger of being raped or taken advantage of by a boy or boys.
Stop this right now. Would your mom be proud of you? Is this the kind of daughter she raised? Boys do not respect girls who do these kind of "fast" things, they act like they think you are cool and may even say they love you just to get you to give them sexual favors, and then they go back and brag to their friends and you will have a reputation all over your school, and the boys won't have anything to do with you anymore. The two boys will be laughing at you behind your back. This may not seem fair, but that is the way it is and always has been.
Girls should act like ladies and have self esteem and self respect and treat themselves like they want to be treated. Using your body to control boys is not cool and will only lead to heart break. Just stop this kind of nonsense, stop sending pictures of yourself and texting suggestive things to boys. It is really stupid on so many levels.
...............................
A
male
reader, koenig  +, writes (31 May 2009):
I don't think you're a slut. But I do think you need to be careful. Things that you may or may not do may be illegal where you live, but I don't think that's important, so I won't get into that right now, but it's something that you should think about.
You're 13, lets not forget that. You might do things now that you're going to regret when you're older (I'm not talking about when you're 30, I mean even when you're 17/18). From what you've said, your relationships and your crush's relationships don't sound that serious. It sounds like there's a lot of hormones and plain sexual attraction involved. With that in mind, do you want to do things with him if you could be yesterday's news in a months time?
Lets talk about the pictures you've sent now. It's getting quite common these days to send pretty private pictures and videos. It can be an exciting experience for all involved. But you also need to think about the consequences - once you've sent something, you've got no control over it. That picture could be put on the internet, shown to your parents or passed around the school. You don't want that, do you? So how can you prevent that? Well, I'd say, don't send pictures to anyone unless you're in a very trusting long term relationship with them... I know it's an easy way to get a boy's attention, it plays on their testosterone riddled thoughts. But is it worth is for that little bit of shallow attention?
Now, lets talk about what happens when he comes round yours. First lets think about what he expects. You've come on quite strong by sending him a half naked photograph of yourself. I'm not him, but he might think you're easy and be expecting something sexual. That doesn't mean you should give it to him.
You're young. I'm young enough to remember being your age. But now, as much as I wanted to have sex and do things like that, looking back, I know that it's better that I waited. I lost my virginity with someone who I care about and who cares about me and we're still together. I can remember how annoying it was to be told that you're too young to understand all of the feelings and stuff behind sex, but it's actually true, no matter how mature you are for your age, it'll be better if you wait a few more years. I'm not saying that you necessarily are going to have sex, but I got the impression that something of a sexual nature might happen. Just think very carefully about whether that's the right thing for you.
Also, think of your reputation. The chances are that anything that you do will get around, people usually find out. How will what you do change how people think about you?
Don't be too convinced about what he says. Have you thought that maybe he said something nice about your picture because he's trying to use you? He might be a perfectly nice guy, but you can't rely on that.
You say that he's "bipolar" about this all. That should tell you that this could be over and done with very quickly. So take it slow. If it lasts, then think about getting serious, but be to quick to do anything.
If you want my opinion, stick to the innocent things for at least a few months (in the eyes of the law, it should be a few years, but it seems the norm to break the law). You're both too young to understand all of this right now - have fun, but don't get yourself in too deep.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2009): I suggest you stop thinking about boys and start concentrating on your English lessons.
...............................
|
