A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I'm a bit confused right now. (I posted last week about breaking up)I've been with my (ex) partner for the last five years. He recently done his phase one on his training with the army, we had all these things planned before he was shipped off to uni in two weeks time. However four days after his pass out parade, he started ignoring me, he hadn't been able to put his phone down since he got home and I seen that he was on Facebook, however he wouldn't respond to my messages. He was meant to be coming down (we live 2 hours apart, I recently moved with my family but planned to move back as soon as I finish studying) for my birthday. However the day came and went and he didn't even message me to say why. The day before my birthday I sent him a message to say that I loved him, and he responded that he wanted to break up. I couldn't understand why, we'd spent the last fourteen weeks declaring how much we loved and missed one another, and on his pass out I felt like the luckiest girl in the entire world. Instead of waiting around all day for his messages I decided to call him and find out what was going on. He said that I was too emotionally dependant on him, that he was worried that he was holding me back from my life and that he was worried that he might cheat on me when he goes off to uni (which is four hours away from me). I was so hurt, I hid everything that I had of his and from him from view. Over the last week I've been given great news, I'd got my work experience at a company that I wanted however the location was changed from London to Birmingham, which is where he'll be studying. And then yesterday I was given an interview for today which went well. I'd planned to travel home to say good bye to family and friends as I know I won't be going up again for a while. Then today I had a miss call through Facebook (didn't know you could get them) from him, Ive had no contact since he broke it off over the phone. I'd messaged him asking what he wanted and he claimed he was looking through old messages and hit the call button by accident. After he started messaging me about dropping my things off and that he wanted to chat because he felt bad about how he left things. He said that he has more to say to me, that the way we left it wasn't what he wanted. When I asked him to just get it over with he claimed he could only tell me face to face, that he can't seem to word things correctly. After a while we got chatting about whats been going on over the last week. He even used my nickname which made me star to question it. I said that I'd meet him tomorrow before going out to collect my things, turns out that we are heading to the same club that night although not together. When talking he said he didn't break it off because of uni, personally I thought he just used me to get through the army basic training and now wants to go to uni single to sleep with whoever he likes, he claims this is far from the truth but won't tell me what it really is until we meet up.I'm really confused if he wants to get back together or not? I just can't read this very well, my friend said that he is trying to get his way back into my life but I really don't know.... I think I need an outsiders opinion. Thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2014): He wants to be single. He admitted he feared he would cheat on you. He thought he made a clean break.
He had no idea you'd be back in the picture and attending the same school.( Which by the way, is the oddest of coincidences! Who would have thunk?)I'm sure he knew before-hand; because he heard it through the grape-vine. Just because he broke up with you, doesn't mean he doesn't have friends and family who know what you're doing. Then there's Facebook, where people tend to tell the public everything.
Yes, he did want to break-up. Now he doesn't, because you'll know every move he makes; and you'll keep having these coincidental run-ins. I know it's a small world, but you seem to have GPS on everywhere he is. Even down to showing up at the same club. Accidentally on purpose.
I'm not buying these coincidences. Let's say you're walking down the street and someone walks toward you, and you move to the left to avoid walking into them. They move the same direction. You move to the right, and they do the same.
That's coincidence. When you're trying to getaway from someone, and they jump in-front of you. They won't let you by. That's on purpose.
Don't be confused, be determined to move on. Which I know is useless to say, because he's attending the same school and neither of you is going to stay out of the others business. It has now reached the level of drama, and neither of you will place your mind on studies. You'll be confused about how to breakup without accidentally running into each other.
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