A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:well me and this guy have been and on and off relationship we dated auqust to november and after we broke up he told me its cuz he was 17 and i was 14 nd then he said he didnt wanna girlfriend for his gradution but then he tried to get with all my friends. and they are the same age as me..well i finally got over him, i mean i was still in love with him, but i stopped crying, wasnt depressed and had lots of fun. well his friend tried to get me too date him, i was goin to cuz i liked him before but i didnt because it was my ex's friend. well he started to come back around saying he missed me and he wants to come back and he loves me..and hes sorry for trying to get with all of my friends and hes sorry for being a asshole when we broke up..then he asked me out like 3 times.. i told him i dont know, because i was scared of gettin my heart broke again. well we hungout alot started talking more and more then stop talking then start talking again. well my birthday party came up we were talking and tryin to work things out well my cousins ex girlfriend, which was his fiance, and one of my best friends knew he was my ex but didnt know we were tryin to work things out and she came to my bday party everyone got a little too drunk and he starts grabbing on her and crap. so the next day i found out he was trying to get with her. i went off on him, we stopped talking and i was soo done with everything, all the gurls, my friends, and everything. well...i found someone and i really liked this dude..and we started gettin closer and closer. well the ex came back, texting me everyday..and he knew i was talking to someone else..and knowing i loved him with all my heart i had to take him back...soo we started talking againn. everything was sooo perfect.. he was telling my whole family that he wanted to be with me and he loved me soo much and he dont want anyone too have me and he was sorry and that he wouldnt break my heart again..he was telling me we i would get hurt again and telling me things ive never heard before from him.. and every guy i would talk to..even as friends he would get sooo madd and write them or take my phone and everything..well even though everything was perfect he still would acuse me of his friend i "almost dated" and the guy i was about to date. he always was bringin them up and well since it was already a year..he was 18 im 15..we got closer and closer but he would talk about soooo many girls and him having sex with them i juss didnt know what i wanted to do it was gettin old him talking and texting girls but i couldnt let him go, and i was scared of loosing him. well things were still going okay.he stayed with me for 3 weeks..and well i kinda lost my virginity to him and he was braggin to his friends supposedly and after 3 days later he came to my house and asked me if i would be mad if he got with another girl. i went off cried for 2 days. like i was thinkin its really over this time.he asked for his stuff back. so i asked for mine. him and my mom were reallyyy close and she went off on him. cuz she knew how i felt and he has a phone in my moms name. i told him i was cutting his phone off and i told him if he wants to loose me im done, i was soo hurt and he knew it. i asked him if he wants to loose me and my mom or date someone else, he told me date someone else..so i knew it was over for good. after a year of all the stuff i went through with him..paying for like everything me and him and his friends did..him talkin to my friends after we broke up and stuff..it was over!well his best friend is one of my best friends and he found out from him that he didnt want to hurt me cuz he loves me and always will but he didnt want a serious relationship. so i didnt really know what too do. well he called me a night later after i heard that from his friend..he told me he really wants me too keep his phone on..and i was like what so you can talk to all these girls well..he was like so i can still keep touch with you, i knew that..that was a lie cuz i ive heard soo many from him. well i kept his phone on. my moms still paying the bill, he texted me everyday..and then like 2 and half weeks later.. he comes back too me nd i was like soo what you wanted to be with me..took my virginity..some hoochie came around..and you changed your mind..she left you, so you came back..he was like kinda but not really. well now we are doing okay. not really "talkin talkin" and we arent dating but he loves me and i love him.he told me i was the only one who matterd that he has sex with cuz the rest of the girls didnt and he told me im competely different from other girls that why he dont talk shit bout me and that why he comes to me when he needs advice or help.well we have had sex like 5 times and and the 3rd time the condom busted well he told me if i got prego he would step up and be a man but nothing would change with me and him. he still is texting girls, hanging out with them, and talkin to them on myspace.. i dont really have a problem but it really bothers me and he still talks about them in front of me.but when i talk about a dude he gets really mad or when i text a dude..if as a friend he takes my phone and texts them he already wants to fight one of my exs, his friend that tried to get with me, and these 3 other dudes for trying to date me. he always wants to fight everyone. he even tells me things i can and cant do..well sometimes, but he always tells me he loves me, he will tell me at least 50 times a day..or more! i mean i feel bad cuz he went through alot, his father past away wen he was little and his mom treats him like shit, but i dont think he has to take it out on me and play games with me..so what do i do about the whole situation.? im confused, im hurt, im depressed, and i dont know what too think or do, he loves me but he dont want to be with me..? i might be pregnant..? i dont know. he still talking to girls..? what do i do..
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be pregnant, best friend, broke up, condom, cousin, depressed, drunk, ex girlfriend, fiance, lost my virginity, might be pregnant, my ex, myspace, talking to girls, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Brittbritt09 +, writes (6 October 2009):
well gurl,
let me tell you,
you just described my boyfreind almost perfectly.
& i know EXACTLY how you feel
my advise to you..
leave him he doesnt deserve you it seems to me like he doesnt want to settle down with just one gurl he wants them all and hes not going to stop he oviously is a horn dog and wants sex but he doesnt wana have sex with the same gurl everytime and also he seems very controling like my boyfriend and that can lead to abuse i would know..
my boyfriend started off perfectly fine but as we got closer he seemed to get more jelouse n jelouse like taking my phone like you said and texting the guys that texted me telln them to never text me again or he was gana beat there a$$. which led to him braking my phone more than once, grabbing my face, slapping me, pushing me down, pulling my hair, and talking down to me.. you dont want that kind of relationship {but} to be honest im still with him but only becuz hes slowly changing. you need to step up and tell him if he doesnt change your through & stick to it, i know it hurts but you can get over it. if he dont change and i meen stop talking and having sex with other gurls and being controling, then end it. this will make him see that your really serious about him changing if you just keep giving in hes going to think that no matter wut he does your never gana leave him and you dont want that but idk what would a 18 year old really want from a 15 year old plus tryna get with all your 15 year old friends you need to drop in hes just looken for good times right now and you just gana keep hurting i know your beyond happy somtimes wen your with him but is it really worth all ther pain its just gana keep on if you end it yeah its gana kill you but once you get over it you wont have to worry about if hes playing you or w/e just date other people theres better out there
i promise.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2009): Wow. This situation is so messed up dear, it's ridiculous.
You say he loves you? Really? Think about how he's acting: sleeping with other girls, controlling who you talk to and sleeping with you. He has a very warped sense of what a realationship is supposed to be like. If he wanted to be with you, and wanted to change, and honestly thought you were special or loved you, then he wouldn't be acting like this.
I understand you love him, so I know this is hard to hear, but he's not treating you right at all. He leaves you for girls any time he wants, and once they leave him he just comes back to you and tells you you're 'different'. You don't think he tells all those girls the same thing? The difference is that you stay with him, and you take him back. He could say that he loves you and tell you that a million times a day and it wouldn't matter a bit if his actions clearly show that he doesn't care about you, let alone love you.
You deserve better than that. I'm sorry he's gone though stuff, but he's an adult now - he needs to act like it. Also, it's not legal for him to sleep with you, by the way. None of us here want to see you get hurt more, which is what is going to happen if you keep in contact with him and he keeps using you this way. Finish with him, cut off his phone (he doesn't need it if you're finished) and tell him that he needs to move on and grow up. He's missed his chance with you and he has to face those consequences. I hope things work out, I know it's a hard situation, let us know how it goes. We're always glad to listen if you need to talk.
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A
female
reader, ellie:) +, writes (6 October 2009):
 well you said he is playing games with you!!!! if he really loves you he wouldnt have hurt you!!! and the reason he says he loves you its cause he knows what his doing is wrong but he still is using you...he is treating you like a toy he plays with you gets tierd plays with other girls and comes back to you.... he is a real jerk i had that kinda jerk in my life before and trust me dumping him is the best thing you can do!!! dont beileve every word he says he is lieing to you so he can do whatever he wants and he gets away with it!!!!
hope everything works out for you:)
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