A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Last year I started loving a girl whom I have been knowing from the past 3 years. She has been a very close friend of mine. I always admired her and also told her that I like her the way she looks and etc. We have even gone very close and have been involved in pre-sex cuddling. I have made love to her also. But offlate she started saying that she has another boy friend and she is seriousl looking for a relationship with him. She started gettign irritated with me sometimes for all silly reasons. She says that she talks with the other guy everyday night but when I ask her to me she gets irritated. Last week we had a very very bad fight wherein she also asked me to go away from her. So i decided that I need to go away from her. But after 2 days she herself called me up to talk to her. But I feel that she might have done that as she was feeeling lonely. The next day again she sent me a mail (which was basically for a help) and when I didnt respond she called me and started with talks like "where I am","Am I OK". But I dont know whether she called me to just get the help done or really she wanted to speak to me. When I decide that I have to go away she comes back herself and starts everythign again. and If I go close to her she gets irritated. I dont know what to do..Just confused... :( I dont want to loose her as I love her a lot...and I dont want to stop talking to her also. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2009): i have been in the same situation once...you know this girl is just using you to help lift her self value..when you get too close to her she treats you bad and gets irritated and when she thinks you are just about to leave her she comes back to you...she says she doesnt wanna talk to you..she assumes that you will be very sad and would want to talk to her..but you simply stop talking..this confuses her and she starts a conversation herself..i know it may sound a bit bad to hear such thing about her but i have been in the same situation..she is not sure with you but doesnt want you to forget her..basically she just wants her options to be open..just think yourself would you ever tell a girl you love that you are trying to have a relation with someone else and would you treat her like that? i will say the best option in this world is to drink rum..and sleep with 2 girls..continue this life for a month and you wont only forget her but even yourself...believe me even though you may think i dont understand love and all but i have cried for a girl for 1 year in your same situation..so i have learnt something...but if you still want to get her only then i will say be confident..become popular among her friends..dont have cold war with any of her friends..if a girls friend doesnt like you half of your chances are already gone..step 2 will be to let her be confused..dont give her a total green light..flirt with other girls..dont do it too much but let her think you are a man who doesnt waste his time..let her think that you are not bothered..as if you have moved on..always be cheerful in front of her..no depressed faces..the basic idea is to confuse her from taking you for granted..i am not saying dont be a good friend..but just dont over do it..like if she is upset ask once..if she doesnt tell you behave normally and talk about something else..she should think that you care for her but dont overdo it like i am your mother thing..asking once is enough..let her think that you have a life of your own also..she is not always on your mind..i guarantee she will be yours if you play your game well..but still i will suggest drink rum and have fun..it is the easier way...do tell me if you like my theory friend..no hard feelings
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