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male
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anonymous
writes: Hi, I'm really confused as to where I stand with a girl I've met recently. I met her through some mutual friends, and over time we have become friends.I was immediately attracted to her, and we have always been able to talk pretty well. We are always pretty close when we talk, but we always atlk about random things, never really about each other.I only ever see her on nights out really, and we always greet and say farewell with a big hug. I'm confused as to how she feels about me. On some nights she will be really touchy feely with me, touching my hand, hugging, holding my arm while we walk or sit down and talk. Last week she even started resting her head on my shoulder. After that I started texting her a bit.Finally during our text conversation I dropped in the suggestion of a coffee at the weekend. To which she replied that she would like to, but is really busy with bar work and uni exams, and would when she was a little less stressed. I said another time maybe, and she said, yeah definitely. Then we carried chatting as per usual. I know she is genuinely busy at the weekend, but am still unsure as to whether this is a polite no, because of our friendship.I have seen her out a couple times this week and we still chat like we always do, and she does genuinely seem happy to see me, and even left one nightclub last night to come to the one I was in. But she acted as if she wasn't interested romantically again.I'm so confused, some nights I'm sure she likes me, than others, I'm convinced she isn't, and this makes me reluctant to say anything to her as we are developing a good friendship, and have a lot of close mutual friends.help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI might see how our next couple run ins go before I decide to say something to her. I will see what happens between us after all her stressful things are out the way, exams etc and see how she acts around me then. If the subject of the coffee I originally suggested never rears its head again, then I guess that's a pretty good sign.
A
female
reader, Aunt tilly  +, writes (2 May 2008):
 I think you should continue to be how you've always been with her since you met, She may also be a little confused as to her feelings and not sure in which direction to take them towards you. If shes studying at uni then she is gong to be under some pressure, and obvoiusly she,s trying to earn a little bit of money at the same time, all of which can be quite taxing on anyone. Sit down together and have good chat ask her if she just wants to be friends or would she like it to be more than that. If she wants the latter then tell her you are prepared to be understanding about it and that you will understand when there are times that, pherhaps she cant go out or see, you because of deadlines she has to meet wth her uni work. x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionanother thing, could it be the same for her, maybe she's backing off cos she's unsure where she stands with me? I have kind of backed off a little myself since she turned down the coffee.
I thought things would be awkward, but we talk as well, and she made an effort to see me out last night. I'll be seeing her on Sunday, how should I behave?
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A
female
reader, lexilou +, writes (2 May 2008):
 Girls love having male friends and will be touchy feely with them. It may be that as she is busy she cant put anything into a relationship at the moment and doesnt need the distraction. I think you have to ask her if she sees you as friends or could there be anything more but wait until her exams are over. x
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