A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My female friend, I'll call her A, has been seeing her new girlfriend, B, for about 4 months now and they have just decided to move in together. When I met B she seemed lovely, but recently I have started to think she is quite controlling and I am worried about A. For example, B gets very upset when A sees any of her old friends. She starts crying and saying she feels like A doesn't care about her when she spends time with other people. She does the same when A spends time with her family or when she is busy with her hobbies. For that reason, A barely sees anyone anymore and she is starting to give up her hobbies too. I gently questioned A on this last night, and she said that B told her she has been abandoned by lots of people in her life so A is trying to give her lots of reassurance. While I do get that, I don't really think A can be responsible for all of B's problems and I am worried about how much of her life she is giving up because B is demanding it. I didn't push the matter as A said she is the happiest she has ever been with B and I don't want us to fall out if she thinks I am badmouthing her. Plus I'm starting to get the impression that B would be very happy if we fell out as she seems to want it to just be the 2 of them. So I guess my question is, firstly do you think I am overreacting or am I right to be concerned? And am I best to continue to keep quiet and be there for her in the background, or should I do more? Thanks Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (17 December 2012):
 As a friend you should just be there for her, don't bad mouth anybody. See your friend when you can and be available when she decides she is getting smothered. Don't be the messenger who gets shot.
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