A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:HI - I feel let down and have lost all respect for my boyfriend. The other night my boyfriend and I went to a house party, we both had a really brilliant evening. The next morning we went back to the house where the party was and spoke to the girl who's house it was, she asked me "did you know that there were people snorting coke last night?" I couldnt believe it and we chatted about it for a few minutes and I made it clear that I am disgusted by it. That night, for some odd reason, out of the blue I said to my boyfriend "you were not doing coke at the party were you?" and he admitted that he had! I made it clear that I felt betrayed that he had done it behind my back, and he said that he was going to tell me if I hadnt asked him. I dont agree with drugs, and I dont want them in my life, the trouble is, my boyfriend cant see the wrong in them and says that it is just like alcohol but not legal, he tries to come back at me by saying that I drink alcohol which alters your perception like drugs, so what harm does drugs do? I told him I find it an unattractive trait in someone and I dont want to be with someone that takes drugs and also has different values and morals when it comes to drugs. My boyfriends first reaction was anger and he walked out saying that I cant tell him what he can and cant do. The next day he called me and said he was sorry and that he doesnt want to lose me and will never touch drugs again if that is what it takes.The issue is, I have now lost my attraction for him and I dont think I can get it back!What should I do? Anyone got any advise?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2008): It's not fair to you if he does drugs and doesn't respect you when you put down the standards. If you want your relationship to be drug-free, then you should be extremely clear about it (which I have no doubt you were). However, a drug-user, once started, is hard to stop. It's only if it's in their strongest volition that they will make a commitment to being clean. If you believe that he truly does love you and that he'll sacrifice this past time of his, then maybe you could consider getting back with him, regaining his trust and finding what you once saw in him before. But if you really lost your attraction for him.. then it's time to end it before things get even dirtier. In the end though, whatever choice you'll make will have an impact on future events. No matter what you do, you'll learn from it. I wish you good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2008): It probably wasn't his first time doing it, but if it was...it probably won't be his last! I remember vividly, the first time I tried cocaine...It was an amazing feeling and I couldn't wait to do it again! But fast forward 25 or so years...It's the Devil's greatest temptation! It could take him down roads he doesn't even know exist!
It's true that alcoholism and drug addiction are equally as bad, and if one has an addictive personality, either one can take you down the same path, only cocaine does it much faster! If he has any addictive, dysfunctional history in his family origin (It can even skip a generation) He will do it again!
You'd be smart to get out while you can! It's poison, and the pain and suffering it causes is unbelievable! Not just for the user but for everyone who cares about that person!
A drug addict has No conscience, and will do whatever it takes to get high!
I hope I have helped you. All I can do is relate my story and the stories of people I have known. Most of whom are gone now!
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female
reader, Teacake  +, writes (6 December 2008):
 That probably wasn't his first time nor his last time. Promises usually don't last very long once temptation is calling their name.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (5 December 2008):
 Ugh, Cocaine is such a disgusting drug. If he had been smoking the reefer, I could've let him off the hook, but cocaine is a dirty drug and I think you should stick with your gut feeling and let this guy loose. You're young and there are a lot more guys out there - why waste your emotional energy on this guy? He may or may not change, but you don't have the time to wait for that.
If you do get back with him, be very observant and cautious. One more bout with any sort of coke or worse, it has to be over.
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female
reader, heartless420_1 +, writes (5 December 2008):
 If you have lost that lovey feelin' than you would be wise to listen to your gut! Coccain is a funny drug, most of the time he will find his way back to it. Im so sorry, keep your head up!!!!you deserve better babe!
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