A
female
age
36-40,
*tsdorothytozzo
writes:Hi I'm having trouble with my boyfriend watching porn. Sometimes when i can't satisfy him myself he wants to watch porn... I feel like he's cheating on me when he does this because he's looking at other women (prettier than me might I add) and it hurts so bad... if he really loved me he wouldn't do this because of how mad this makes me right? because watching porn is bad bad bad. I'm a christian and it goes against EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING!!!!! inside me. It hurts so bad... i have trust issues with him now because of it. Please help me somebody. I can't stop crying and its making me so depresed.
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male
reader, fjh10 +, writes (21 October 2009):
Please consider these scriptures as they will question who is a real Christian.
“Therefore, having these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all defilement of flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.” {2 Cor 7:1}
“Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone to obey as slaves, you are slaves to the one whom you obey…?” {Rom 6:16a}
(John 14:15) "If you love Me, you will keep My commandments."
(Luke 6:46) "And why do you call Me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say?" Scripture teaches that loving the Lord Jesus is affirmed by striving for perfection while obeying His commands. Is it possible to actually love the Lord Jesus while at the same time refusing to obey all of His commands? One must seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness. But he who lives just to gratify their own temporal desires is not a Christian according to scripture.
A
male
reader, galant  +, writes (2 July 2009):
 you say you are a christian but why are you practicing formication with your boyfriend? When it comes to pornographic films, you are a christian but when it comes to having sex you do not mind you are a christian. If your boyfriend watches porno, maybe this excites him more to see girls with silicon breasts simulate that they are having intense pleasure, he gets excited when she sees gorgeous woman licking the d*ck of men.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2009): poor you ! please speak to him and tell him what you have written here. see what he has to say
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A
female
reader, Listener1991  +, writes (27 June 2009):
im so sorry to hear that he ignores your concerns. i just want you to know we might have different situations although i feel your question struck a chord within me .. my partener of two years was using pornography when i already had a folder of me for him,, i really get how you feel when you say it feels like hes cheating on you and it seriously does hurt when they think its no big deal..if you need to talk im here, i just feel a lot of pain too over his actions.
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A
male
reader, Skellington +, writes (26 June 2009):
 I watch porn.
My girlfriend watches porn.
She actively watches other girls, as do I.
We watch porn together.
We watch porn seperately.
She likes everything: m/m, m/f, f/f
I like: m/f, f/f
I don't really know the answer to this one...but, I'd have to say if you're unable to satisfy him, you should research.
Research, research research. Find out what makes him horny, find out what makes him tick, find out what gets him off. Hell, there are even websites like this one where you can ask for advice or pointers. Just research. But, if it's against your religion...oh well, what's the love of a physical human being that you can feel and touch for the love of some big invisible person in the sky?
These are my views. Accept or Reject.
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A
female
reader, identifiable  +, writes (25 June 2009):
 cheating does entail more than what your bf of 9months seems to be doing , he dont want comitment with one of these women (he wants youn the fact is) he watching multipul porn showing he is jus indulging in mnodern fantasy. Why dont you watch it once with him (i know you dont like it) but then say the next following days lets not watch it i tried it, so now you try and leave it ... and slowly get him out of his phase x
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (25 June 2009):
 I don't think that the fact that he's watching porn means he's cheating. Does he know how much this hurts you? Some guys, while not unfaithful per se, can be really thoughtless. Maybe he isn't aware of how it makes you feel, and you need to tell him that it bothers you. Your insecurities are understandable. Btw, I hear a lot of the women in porn are "fake," meaning in real life they may not be all that impressive. People can do wonders with computers/camera/lights/airbrushing.
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera +, writes (25 June 2009):
I could be wrong, but I always thought that the rules against shellfish, tattoos, and makeup applied to the Old Testament. Or, just certain denominations? I've digressed, I know, but I'm curious.
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A
female
reader, xcharlottex +, writes (25 June 2009):
Okay, I can understand where you're coming from, however i think you need to get it into your head that porn isn't real, he's NEVER going to meet these women, and even if he did he'd think they're disgusting whores, ask him, most guys do think that way. What we have to understand is men are very visual creatures, that's how they get aroused, in some cases watching 2 people have sex can be more arousing for them than having sex themselves. He's not cheating on you, he loves you to pieces, he wouldnt be with you otherwise, but your insecurities are going to drive him away, it's just porn, it's got nothing to do whether they're prettier than you, it's the thrill of seeing these strangers in compromising positions I would say around about 90% of men watch porn, that doesn't tally up with the amount of men that cheat by a long shot.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2009): Have you ever asked a guy after he has watched porn what he woman looked like?? Most of them cant remember because all they see is the sex act.
Both you and your boyfriend need to communicate more, if you cant satisfy him, he should tell you how you can satisfy him and vice versa.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2009): His watching porn or TLC has nothing to do with you. Keep going the route you are on and you will drive him away. BTW, it would appear that he does not believe the same way you do. The 1st amendment provides for everyone to believe the way they want. So do not use religion as the arguement for him stopping. The issue is how you view yourself and your self confidence. You need to work on you.
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A
female
reader, identifiable +, writes (25 June 2009):
This is difficult because of your religion, understand !... But i know and can maybe help you in saying Porn and the women has nothing to do with you and your image or even your sex life... Its a man escape and fantasy.. its liek you being a great lawyer and you love it but your dream to be an actress, you know itn wont happen and your content how you are, but you still enjoy the thought. This website will also put things into perspective http://practicalhappiness.com/when-your-guy-watches-porn ... also its a common thing and should not put a void in your relationship ! and if you are mensly insecure you have to work on your confidence by cognitive thinking and challenge what you think .. (im not as pretty) or (am i fat)... think who else thinks this, ive bet you been called beautiful before... you understand the jist this will help you be happier x
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A
female
reader, itsdorothytozzo +, writes (25 June 2009):
itsdorothytozzo is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt makes me feel bad because he's thinking of other women sexually other than me. I feel like he's cheating on me. We've been dating for 9 months now and It hurts my feelings very bad when he thinks of other girls sexually. We've had a very happy relationship up until this porn problem. I'm sorry I keep saying this but I feel like he's cheating on me.
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