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I'm cheating with a guy with a girlfriend and I'm really confused!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 March 2016) 4 Answers - (Newest, 25 March 2016)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I was going out with a boy for a few months last year then he broke up with me and got a new girlfriend. They've now been together about 4 months but in the past 2 months we've been seeing eachother without her knowing. On one hand I don't feel guilty because we still have feelings for eachother and it feels right but then on the other hand I know what I'm doing is wrong. I do have respect for their relationship but I sometimes completely forget it's even there. I've tried to put a stop to us seeing eschother but we just can't seem to stay away from eachother yet he still wants to stay with his giflriend. Please help me with what to do because I'm so confused?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (25 March 2016):

Honeypie agony auntI agree with WiseOwlE

You do NOT respect their relationship, and you need to stop lying, specially to yourself.

Even IF you broken them up and "got" him back, you know he will just cheat on you too at some point.

Take some responsibility for you OWN actions. You KNOW what you are doing is wrong. You know what HE is doing is wrong.

And why would you even WANT to be with this guy? In his eyes you are good enough to sleep with but NOT good enough to date...

How LOW can you go?

BLOCK and DELETE, and let him go. Stop letting him use you. It's not like he actually CARES for you. He has just figured out he can USE you on the side. Not because you are "special" but because you are easy and you let him.

Think about it? What IF you were the GF in this scenario? How would you feel?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2016):

My dear, you don't respect their relationship. You're jealous and you're doing what you can to taint and destroy it.

Hoping he'll get caught and you'll ruin what they have. You have to always remember...what goes around comes around.

Your karma is to experience exactly what you're doing to her. Your mission is to sabotage their relationship. If you respected it, you wouldn't just forget it exists. There are so many contradictions in your post, it makes you look pretty bad. You're very young and have a lot to learn, but you know right from wrong. He's playing the both of you!

You are not confused at all. That's what people say when they do things they know are wrong, and don't want to own it. The situation you're in right now, it's not really about feelings. It's all about hormones and sex. Enjoying the forbidden fruit, the thrill of keeping secrets and cheating. It's all going to blow-up on both of you.

It's easy to make excuses and rationalize when you know you're doing something wrong and don't want to stop. The lamest excuse of them all is..."I can't help it."

Seriously?!!

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (24 March 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntWell you should feel guilty for what you are doing, how would you like it if someone done this to you when you had a boyfriend? Cheating can make someone be insecure for the rest of their lives to a point where they can never trust a partner again, so yes you should feel guilty for being a part of something that can hurt someone so badly.

If you had feelings for each other he would be respectful enough to break up with his girlfriend and be with you. However he doesn't because he doesn't want anything more from you than a hook up. He is using you and you are letting him because you have feelings for him. He has two women to give him attention, am sure he is loving it. How can you forget he is in a relationship? Does it not make you feel bad that he goes back to her? Tells her he loves her? Has sex with her? How can that be forgotten. You are just his bit on the side.

The only advice I can give to you is to stay away from him, he is not willing to leave his girlfriend for you, which just shows you he doesn't have feelings for you. Be more respectful of yourself and tell him it is over, drop all contact and at least you can look at yourself and say you done the right thing. Wait for a guy who is single and who you will be able to call your own. If you don't end things, he will just keep using you until you get hurt.

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A female reader, wrathykins United Kingdom +, writes (24 March 2016):

wrathykins agony auntYou are literally giving this little cretin the life of riley. He has two girlfriends, no doubt having sex with the both of you, and you are letting him do this to you!

He's using you. He obviously isn't going to leave his girlfriend so why on earth are you letting yourself be used like this?

You deserve better than to be messed around like this!

Delete and block him from everything. For want of a better term, he's a f*ckboy!

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