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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I'm a big overachiever in the arts. I'm applying for a well-respected art college in February, I'm in 2 bands, and I'm a performing dancer now. Not to brag, but I find I don't have much difficulty getting good at things, and I do all of the things I mentioned quite well. I've had many people randomly compliment me on my looks, and I don't consider myself unattractive per se (I'm tall, blonde and not without some curves).The only thing I can't seem to get the hang of is love. I have no problem interacting and clicking with other people; I make friends almost instantly and pretty much wherever I go. I'm a social person. But whenever it comes to romance, something always ends up getting in the way. Most of the time I just can't seem to fall in love at all, even if the person I'm seeing seems to be everything I could want. I can like them a lot, and I can be attracted to them sexually to an extent, but even that is tough; half the time I'm just not in the mood.I've only ever been really passionate about one person, and he ended up hurting me really badly. We're still friends and he's still the only person I can feel that attracted to. Unfortunately he's in my band so there's not much point in dating him......not that I'd know how to get him back if I wanted to.It's frustrating. I get really lonely in spite of my friends, and pent up, but I don't believe in sleeping around out of boredom/apathy, and besides, I couldn't seduce somebody if I tried. If I'm so competent otherwise, why is the whole "romance" deal so difficult????
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female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (7 January 2011):
 Quite simply - because you still have feelings for your ex and until these are gone you wont be able to have feelings for anyone else.
With your ex being in your band, this means presumably that you still spend a lot of time together. And because you say you are 'friends' - does that mean you still hang out, text each other etc?
If he is so close to you still, spending time together and then being friends away from the band, he is still way too involved in your life for you to get over him. It really is that simple - you have only ever been passionate about one guy, he is still very much in your life therefore until your feelings for him are gone then you wont feel passionate about any other guy because no-one will compare to your ex.
That feeling of 'not being in the mood' when you are with a guy - that is called not having moved on from your ex. Even though your ex may not be in your mind at the time, subconsciously the feelings are still there and they are preventing you from feeling anything significant for anyone else.
So get over your ex - and you will find falling in love far easier!
I hope this helps and good luck!
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