A
female
age
41-50,
*m_mily
writes:Hello AllMy problem is very very completed. About me and my bf. We've been dating for nearly 2 years and planning to get married next year. Im 29 and he's 30 this year. Before we started this relationship I didnt know that he was getting married, but a week before his wedding day, he broke the news right after we had sex. I felt so humiliated and betrayed. Well so he got married, but he still went out with me while his married with his wife. One story go to another after thres months he divorced his wife and he ask me to move in. Untill now im still living with him. He onced kicked and punched my face after I went beserk after he asked for broke up. I lodged a police report and so did he, according to him the report as an act of a self defence.He is still in contact with his ex wife, and before this he did say that he regretted divorcing his wife for a woman like me.I am very devoted to him, follow whatever he needs to say, dress only for what he approves, and most of all he hates my friends. I am not allowed to see my friends because he told me they have no future. I cook for him, do laundry for him, run the house chores for him what I need is for him to treat me better. I really hate this because I hold a master degree and I have a good job but I still succumb to this kind of situation. I should have known better right? He used to kick me from the house just because i raised my voice. I dont go out with any other guys while im with him. so why does he treat me so bad? I committed suicide last year in February after he asked me to leave his house. He packed my stuff and threw it out of the door, I took 40 tables of Uphamol and 20 tablets of Panadols. He rushed me to the hospital and I was admitted. The most heartbreaking moment where the incident happened on the Valentine's Day.Sometimes I dont know whether its him that i hate or myself? How can I put up with all this mess? He cheated me before and he treated me like dump.And for sure I dont know whether I still love him like I used to...I'm 29 and still im a cluless in the relationship and I feel very very ashamed of myself.Yeah.. and this morning he told me that, " Dont think I'm afraid of losing you".
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broke up, divorce, ex-wife, his ex, wedding Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, tux  +, writes (12 November 2007):
 Never be afraid to be alone. Being alone is often better than being in a relationship that makes you feel bad. Been there, done that. I am the last one in my family to still remain unmarried and childless and often pains me, especially with the holidays coming up. I am often feel left out because they talk about their families and I amleft out because I got nothing. and it doesn't help that i'm approaching 30 myself. But keep your head up... do what you need to do to be happy and surviving. There's plenty of chances out there for finding the right person,love takes patience. You'll be fine.
A
female
reader, Em_mily +, writes (12 November 2007):
Em_mily is verified as being by the original poster of the question I'm still with him. How I wish I have the courage to do whatever I have inside my mind. Last night i felt like killing myself again and I cried myself to sleep again for a hundreth times this month. I love him but how much is my love towards him Im not really sure bout it. Am i too afraid of being alone? Im nearly 30 all my friends are either married or going to get marry.
I really hate him when he said things like ' I'm not like your dad" and whenever i go beserkover things he did he will say " you are like your mother" despite he dosnt even know my mother coz she passed away when i was 12. the story that he knows about my mother is either from me or my family. I never said that to him to compare between him with his parents or so.
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A
female
reader, rockelle +, writes (7 November 2007):
 Ok. After reading I feel sorry for you, but only to a certain extent. Everyone deserves to be with someone who treats them with respect. Now, you are a women with a "good job" why haven't you left him yet. He hit you! He does not respect you if he treats you like this. He has thrown you out! Why haven't you left??????????????
I am upset do not allow this man to treat you like this. I have a dog and I wouldn't throw him out on the street.
Noone will respect you if you do not respect and love yourself. He does not deserve any more chances. There is something better for you out there but you have to be willing to go out and get it. He is mentally and physically abusive. I hope you can update us and tell us that you have decided to get your own place, or moved in with a friend. This guy is bad news.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2007): three words hun.hes a asshole.no man in this whole wide world has any reason to hit a woman if he does he isnt worthy of ur love move on and find urself someone who treats you like u shold be treated.he says he dont need u well show him u dont need him either and get up and walk out!good luck xx
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A
male
reader, tux +, writes (7 November 2007):
My thought on this is that you should not be afraid to lose him either. You have nothing to be ashamed of. He should be ashamed of himself for treating his wife like he is. You deserve so much more in life then to be punched kicked and ordered around. He pushed you to the brink of wanting to end everything.. I was there before myself. I know how you feel. Dont feel that you are trapped in your relationship. You deserve so much better.
There are plenty of other guys out there that know how to treat their partners better. You don't need him in your life. You got your masters.. you got a good job. you don't need this guy as your husband. You can do so much better. But that is just my three cents.
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