A
male
age
30-35,
*ifference
writes:I'm attracted to guys and girls. I consider myself bisexual. I wanna be with bothI have no problem with having sexual relations with a guy because I know my penis can become erected.But is different with a girl because I'm scared to get a girlfriend because there may come a time with she wants to have sex and I'm scared I may not become erected and I may get embarrassed.But I am attracted to girls but when I watch lesbian porn or straight I don't become as erected, but the other porn, like gay I become erected because I'm so use to looking at it.I scared to start a relationship with a girl but I'm scared there are so many I want to talk to, but I'm scared I want be able to have sex. Will it change when I try to try it? Are nerves keeping me from being erected because I'm nervous to be with girls in a relationship. Its all so confusing?What should I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, lovebird1  +, writes (25 April 2011):
Take it easy-Don't worry so much, please!! You confuse yourself. Just relax!!!It sounds like until now, you're just fine - you've already figured out you're bisexual, and you've got a functioning penis. You don't seem to have a lot of sexual experience, at least with girls, so you tend to worry too much. You confuse things by measuring your capability to get an erection from straight or lesbian porn vs gay porn - this all has nothing to do with being able to have an erection with a real partner.I'm bisexual and although I find lesbian porn really boring most of the time, I enjoy to have lesbian sex in real life.From what you posted, I'd say you should try to get over your shyness with girls as a next step to lead a free and happy life. Get used to talk to girls and spend time with them. Find out what makes you more self confident. Don't worry about your sexual performance yet.So far, there's no evidence that you won't be able to have an erection or that you'll make an embarassing experience in the future. Don't overanalyse your physical reactions and trust in your intuition which says you like boys and girls. Be a bit more optimistic about your penis' capability and don't waste your time making up embarassing scenarios.Also, don't expect yourself to be a perfect lover from the first time you lay hands on a woman. It's completely normal to have mediocre or even bad sex in the beginning. A willingness to learn and to please a woman are more important than physical features and endurance.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (25 April 2011):
 Do you want a relationship, or do you want sex? That is the question you must ask yourself. If you want a relationship then do not focus so much on the sexual part, if you will become erect or not. If the sexual attraction is there, then YES you will get an erection and enjoy it too. If the sexual attraction isn't there then move on because she wasn't the one for you. Just because you are bisexual doesn't mean you have to be sexually attracted to all people. Im bisexual too, and there are plenty of both guys and girls that wouldn't turn me on as they simply aren't my type, or there is zero connection or interest. If you are in love with someone, and sexually attracted to them, these things sort themselves out. Don't focus so much on porn though! That seems to be what is steering you in the wrong direction here. Porn and reality are two completely different things. If you find a lovely woman who you are crazy about, and she turns you on and pushes all the right buttons... do you really think you will have a problem getting an erection?However if all you want is sex, no feelings involved, no relationship, maybe not even knowing the person too well, then you could experience difficulties getting an erection. Could being the word here, I'm not sure, maybe you won't, but I imagine you could. Having sex with someone you care about is different from having just sex.
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