A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This is not a relationship question, but more of a personal struggle I'm trying to cope with. I graduated with my AA in Spring of 2012. I decided to go with a psychology degree though I had intended on going to medical school so it didn't really matter what I majored in. I transferred to the best in-state university I could, and truth be told, it's not working out. I have no chance of going to medical school, and I know a bachelors in psychology doesn't go anywhere, especially in today's job market. I found a bachelors degree I'm really interested in, but I have a bunch of pre-reqs to do first, and I would need to transfer to another school which offers the degree. Basically, I won't graduate until Fall 2016, and I'm already 24 years old...I'll be 27 almost 28 by the time I finally finish school. I'm very upset and discouraged by all of this and I feel like a complete failure/loser. I'm being supported by my parents, and I want nothing more than to be in my career supporting myself and making them proud of me, even though I didn't graduate from the top school, or become a doctor, even though it's going to take me soo long to graduate. Please give me advice on how to cope with this mess :(
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female
reader, MsSadie +, writes (10 August 2013):
 I understand your frustration. I completely bombed my first year of college due to alcohol, an abusive relationship, and a mental breakdown. So, I dropped out of that school, one of the best in the country, and took a year and a half long hiatus to get my sh*t together. Now I'm back in school, and my parents are depositing money in my bank account to pay for tuition, rent, bills, groceries, etc. until I finish my undergraduate degree.
It sucks for a lot of reasons. 1) It's hard to forget the painful failure of my first go-around at college 2) It's awful to watch my friends graduating, and know that I should be at the same place as them since I was always the top student and 3) It's weird having my parents pay for everything when I know how much my peers are struggling to finance their education and remember how badly I failed my parents last time.
You know how I cope with all that? I remain ambitious and keep my eyes on the end-goal (a bachelor's degree and getting into a reputable law school) to ensure that all these expenses are eventually worth it, and I count my blessings. Why should we be ashamed if our parents can afford to support us? Don't let anyone tell you that you should feel bad about that or that your efforts in school/life are somehow worth less because you don't have to struggle financially.
Anyway, you're progressing in a healthy and linear way; you didn't mention any setbacks like mine, so it would seem as though you're certainly heading in the right direction. Don't try to get a degree that you're not interested in because you think that's where the money is - there are people coming out of law school these days who can't get a job, so it's really a crapshoot for everyone. Build your job potential by working internships and keeping your GPA high enough that you may get into a great grad school.
Why'd you give up on med school, may I ask?
Best of luck to you!
A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (10 August 2013):
 coming from the girl who didn't realize in time that psychology was a dead-end, consider yourself lucky and smarter than me. i have a bachelors in it, and i work as a bartender now, after all my years of school. even dabbled in nursing for a while before realizing it wasn't for me, as well as began a masters in counseling before ending that, as well. before i know it, i'm gonna be the world's most educated poor person. but hey, it happens. it's called growing up. most people don't know what they want to do with their lives til they are your age, honestly. try not to beat yourself up.
if it bothers you so much what they think, or if it bothers you a lot that they are still supporting you, take out a bunch of loans and support yourself. it sucks having to pay them back, but it'll make you feel good about yourself and how hard you worked to earn your degree once you have it.
good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2013): Please don't feel discouraged by college goals that will not be achieved until your late 20s! I, myself, am 23 and STILL working on my Associate's in Science, and I won't be done with all of my academic goals until I am about 28. Sometimes, it takes some of us a little longer to figure things out. Although you ultimately wanted to be a doctor, perhaps it's better that you didn't go that route simply for all the ridiculous college loans you would have to pay off later on. And med students/residents do not start off making a pretty penny.
Having an associate's degree in Psychology could have some benefits; you could be a counselor at a rehab clinic, it could be a leg-up in the interview selection at a childcare center, and many other entry level positions. Your parents are going to be proud of you n o matter what you do in life. You need to find out what career suits YOU and go with it. And remember, lots of people have attended many different colleges to get just one degree; doesn't mean you have to put all that down on a resume. ;-)
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (10 August 2013):
Your parents want to see you succeed but I am sure they understand how hard it is to find a suitable career these days. You are still young and we often feel like we should have certain goals "now" in life. Try to take it easy and instead focus on what you should be doing NOW rather than what could or could not be. Such thoughts will only bring you down and hinder your current development.
I speak from experience as I am 27 and I have only recently finished Uni. It has been hard and I did work for a few years before I started but the feelings and thoughts have been similar to yours. If you want to succeed you simply have to stay focused and force yourself to do so. It will even make you a stronger person. When you do finish, I know you will want nothing more than to give your part to the family.
Good luck to you, don't lose sight just yet.
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A
male
reader, Xearo +, writes (10 August 2013):
Your parents want to see you succeed but I am sure they understand how hard it is to find a suitable career these days. You are still young and we often feel like we should have certain goals "now" in life. Try to take it easy and instead focus on what you should be doing NOW rather than what could or could not be. Such thoughts will only bring you down and hinder your current development.
I speak from experience as I am 27 and I have only recently finished Uni. It has been hard and I did work for a few years before I started but the feelings and thoughts have been similar to yours. If you want to succeed you simply have to stay focused and force yourself to do so. It will even make you a stronger person. When you do finish, I know you will want nothing more than to give your part to the family.
Good luck to you, don't lose sight just yet.
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