A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I work in a convenience store on the same three days every week, and have to deal with a lot of bullshit from our clientele on a regular basis. Getting harassed, talked down to and hit on by men is a regular occurrence. While this is experienced by all women at some point in their 20s, I've realized it's concentrated when working in a retail and customer service-oriented environment. Usually I ignore it or give definite negative answers that can't be misread, and I usually don't let it get to me.However, I was recently told by a coworker that a customer came in last week and specifically asked for me by name, and even gave a physical description. He also asked when I'd be there, and the idiot he spoke to told him one of the days I'm usually working. I'm extremely creeped out by the whole thing, especially because not only do I have no idea who it was, but I walk to and from work and now this anonymous creep knows one of my usual work days.Aside from obvious things like being aware of my surroundings, what can I do to protect myself?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (26 June 2012):
 I agree with the female reader who says you have blown the whole thing out of proportion. You are not being STALKED.
A customer who probably has a crush on you asked about you and was told what day you work.. BFD…
If he starts showing up and hanging around now that’s different.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2012): Cant you pick up his image on the stores CCTV? My first thought as a mum would be, leave that store!! If you really have to work there, inform your manager about this, the member of staff should be given a warning and all staff need to know, never give out personal information again! Arrange with your manager to have your work days altered, so you do not have a `regular` work pattern anymore. Stop doing late shifts, work early ones and tell your parents and friends about this. Ask for rides to and from work as often as possible or cycle to work rather than walking alone. Definitely avoid going in on the day the staff member said you will be there. Sigh....as you say, what an idiot!Get a good description of the person in question, so you will have some idea of what he looks like, should you ever bump into him. Have the member of staff he spoke to, keep a look out for him coming into the store again and ready to alert you and the manager. If he does turn up, get a picture of him so you can show others and they can look out for him too. If need be, you can show the picture to the police. It could well be someone with ongoing issues, already known to them. Carry a personal alarm Hopefully it was just an odd person who will have forgotten about you now but it never hurts to be safe. So now might be a good time to start some form of self defense. That is always a good idea for girls. All the best and stay safe x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2012): I think you have blown the whole thing out of proportion!Stalking is very different to what you have explained in your situation. You have NO IDEA why this customer asked for you. It could be that you work faster than others; that you gave better service than others, lots of other reasons. It could also be an innocent crush, where he likes to see you when he comes to pay, and by knowing when you are there, he can schedule his purchases on the same day. Who hasn't had a crush on someone working at a store/library/etc.?It would be a different matter if he came in, stared at you uncomfortably, acted weird, pestered you, harassed you, talked down to you, hit on you, etc. If he followed you, called you, came every day, that would be stalking.All you have to go on is: a customer asked about you, and when you would be there. It could be innocent, or not. Give it the benefit of the doubt.Sure, tell your co-workers not to give our personal info. Sure, be careful and if you're walking to and from work, have someone be aware when you leave, what time you arrive, etc to ensure you are safe. Try and change the walking alone after a shift if possible until you know who the customer was, and what the situation is.I'm sure eventually this customer will come in, your co-worker will recognise him, and you can find out why he wanted to know when you would be there. You will also see what he looks like - normal guy, or creep. It could be a potential date - someone you haven't noticed before but you're his type; OR, it could be a creep in which case you highlight him to everyone (boss/co-workers/family) and tell him to leave you alone. Only if he doesn't, that is when you take matters further, and when you can begin saying he is harassing you, and stalking you.Be cool, and keep safe!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (26 June 2012):
 Stay safe, if you work late have someone walk you to your car, or get someone to pick you up.
Talk to the person who talked to said customer and get a description. Also talk to your boss. He/She needs to talk to staff. Staff should NEVER give out personal info or work schedules to "random" customers.
If you at any point feel like you are being stalked tell your parents and call the police. Nip it in the bud.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2012): A girl in my hometown was being stalked via craigslist missed connections by an obsessed customer. She found out who it was and got a restraining order against him.
Your manager should have a policy in place that includes not giving out information about your shifts. If you can, make sure you are never alone including walking to and from your car. Check your state's laws/statutes. You may be allowed to purchase and carry a small aerosol can of pepper spray to use for self defense. As scary as the thought is...if something did happen to you, do you know how you would fight back?
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (25 June 2012):
 Tell your manager and let him/her know what is going on. Also, tell your co-worker who gave out the personal information not to give out personal information anymore. Don't go outside by yourself at night if that is an issue. A manager or someone else should walk you to your car. If you can, whenever that particular customer is in the store, I would tell someone immediately and have them working with you. That way you do not feel so vulnerable. I would also let your family know what is going on.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2012): I wouldnt let it bother you too much until it becomes a habit.....i.e. until he actually does something like hang about etc.
It may be a good idea to have any male friends you might have drop by while you are working to show a male prescence.
He may want to ask you out for a friend or something quite innocent.
However, if stalking does occur, report your fears to your bosses initially then the police.
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