A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:im sick and tired now! and i cant face it anymore, back in july i split up with my boyfriend of nearly two years, i was only fourteen when i fell in love, and we lasted 22 months! until his mum got made redundant and they ended up moving away, he was too far to make a long distance relationship and it did break my heart to see him go, we have stayed quite good friends online, he says he likes it where he is, and ive learnt to live wihtout him, i go out and still enjoy my life, yeah i miss him, but i gues im an optomistic person most of the time! but then in october, (it was three weeks ago) one of his friends had a party, he was invited and he came back to see us all and came to the party, it was a fantastic night! but we all ended up getting VERY drunk, some people were passed out and stuff, and i got my self into a bit of a state, tellin him (my ex) how much i missed him, how much i wanted him to come back and live with me and stuff, we ended up kissing and it made it worse! his friend (call him C) ended up tryin to bring me round, gave me a hug and talked to me, wiped my face and everything, and we ended up sleepin together! and my ex walked in on us! it was stupid, we were both extremely drunk! it 'just happened' i know its a really lame excuse! and i know i was stupid!! but to get caught at it with your ex boyfriend friend kind of gets you a name!! for the past three weeks all ive had it stick and abuse from people! apparently i 'cheated' on him! how the hell can i cheat on someone who i havnt been with for 3 months?! how can i cheat on someone i dont go out with?! it was a really stupid one night stand!! and ive had so much abuse from it, i had to confront two girls outside a shop because they knowa bout it! 'C' has had a fair bit of abuse too! people arent bothered about the fact that we got drunk and slept together, people think im the biggest slag walking because i slept with a friend of my ex boyfriend!! if it was a total randomer that id had a one night stand with in a back alley in the middle of town then they probably wouldnt be bothered! but because it was my ex boyfriends friend, its a MASSIVE deal!! im sick of all the shit, he's back home now and still manages to let everyone find out! i dont know what to do, i didnt go to college last week cause i cant face the shit from people! i dunno what to do no more, will i ever live it down? am i really that much of a slag?! do i deserve all the stick im getting?! please can someone help me, how do i ignore it???????
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bullied, drunk, fell in love, kissing, long distance, my ex, one night stand, split up Reply to this Question
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female
reader, wendie dee +, writes (17 November 2008):
 You poor thing stop beating yourself up. At such a tender age it's hard to go out with someone for that long, and them not be your first real love, i know i've been there. Seems to me your ex still has feelings for you, why else would he be making such a fuss, he's most propably mad and upset that he had to move and frightened his best friend will his place. As for the ones that are doing the bullying are you sure there just not jealous,ignore them The less said the soonest mended, tell them to get a life. At your age it's hard you feel so grown up,but this is your first experience in the real world, and people can be cruel. You won't be the first and you won,t be the last.
A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (17 November 2008):
 Your right, lame excuse. Actually it's not an excuse, and alcohol is not an excuse either. No matter what lead up to this, sleeping with someone is a choice. Missing school to avoid what people say is a choice as well. Not a good one I might add. Loosing education to avoid what others say is not a good reason to miss school.
He's telling others probably as a method of coping with what happened. A huge rule of friendships is not to sleep with a friends girlfriend or exgirlfriend. It also comes down to, if you can't trust a friend who can you trust.
A personal experience, 20 years ago my best friend had sex with my "wife" at the time. That friendship ended, and that was the last person I can really consider to be a friend. Unless I'm with my kids, or talking to others relating to business, I avoid all other relationships.
You kept saying what you did was stupid. So, you should also understand when we do something stupid, the outcome doesn't generally follow suite with what we would like.
The bottom line, through the drama, is you told him you missed him, then proved that to be wrong by the act you took part in, which also shows proof that his friend may not be trusted as well.
I'd say just ride it out, and consider the outcome of your decisions before you act in the future.
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