A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:OK. So, I'm 14, yes fourteen. I've recently got a boyfriend who I've been going out for for 5 months, and that's pretty good I must admit. A lot of girls who have always had it out for me have been coming up to me and been going, "Hey virgin, you still to chicken to lose your virginity?". They laugh and ask me if I shave, and ask me really silly questions like that to embarrass me.Of course they have, and they have because their boyfriends or ex's take condoms around with them, and one of them even told me about the crappy sex.Well, my boyfriend has been comforting me telling me it's alright to be a virgin when it clearly isn't. He is one too, but because he's near the top in the social ladder no-one asks him about it, people just assume so.To make matters worse, my mum doesn't even know about my boyfriend, so asking her about it would be disastrous. She wants me to start having boyfriends when I'm eighteen, or older. I'm an only child, so that's why she's over protective.So, I guess it's bullying, is there any way I can get the torment to stop?Thanks.
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female
reader, Miss GC  +, writes (7 June 2012):
 HI Ms. Anonymous.. oh well... I'm 23 and I AM STILL A VIRGIN... haha.. and i am so proud of it because at least when I get married, I still have my most precious gift for him.. and you know what that is. you know what, you should be happy because your boyfriend comforts you into not doing you and he's not like those other guys who pressure u so much of doing such thing. I know it feels bad to be bullied.. but sometimes people bully u or pressure you because they want u to be miserable just like them.. you know what, your "friends" act very cool and stuff but deep inside they feel shit.. thoughts like "If only i could turn back time and not have sex" must've crossed their minds but since they cant go back in time so they find someone to make the same mistake that they did.. and its nice to maintain untouched because when guys break up with you after they have taken your virginity, they would spread the word to their friends.. and so i know you don't want to be the LOSER ryt? so better be bullied because u're a virgin than be the talk in town because you're a BITCH or a SLUT.. at least in God's eyes, you are not the LOSER. =) hope this helps..
A
female
reader, juleskee +, writes (2 April 2009):
"Well, my boyfriend has been comforting me telling me it's alright to be a virgin when it clearly isn't."
Okay, what is so wrong about being a virgin? Does it make you a loser if you don't lose your virginity? Being a virgin only means that you would rather be safe than sorry. Haven't people seen what happens when premarital sex goes wrong? Whatever happened to TRUE LOVE WAITS? Why do people think it's so cool to have sex? Yes, it does make you feel good, but so what? You can feel good when you're married! That way, no one can judge you.
People should respect other people's decision when it comes to sex. But in my opinion, it's actually wrong when people aren't virgins before they're married. I mean, why should you desecrate your body?
When we were in our Religion class, we were discussing the 10 commandments, and it says that it's against the 8th commandment to have PMS. We must always uphold CHASTITY.
And did you know that it's also wrong to use protection and other things to avoid pregnancy? It's because you're avoiding creation of man, and that's almost as worse as killing someone.
So please, if you decide to have sex, THINK AGAIN. It's good to stay a virgin! Who cares if you don't have experience? You'll have all the time in the world when you're married to learn how to have great sex. And, if you stay a virgin, your genitals won't look gross, and you and your husband will have even more enjoyment.
If they continue to pressure you, then they're not true friends. Or if they're not friends, just ignore them. AT LEAST YOUR VAGINA ISN'T WORN OUT LIKE THEIRS! Just imagine how much you will like it when you and your husband have the time of your life. Never give in to peer pressure. You get to decide what happens in your life.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2008): Some young people think its a great thing and its somthing you MUST do to fit in, when in reality sex is not that important besides if you dont use protection you can get sexually transmitted diseases. At your age you should not be even thinking about it!!
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A
male
reader, FountainOfIndifference  +, writes (29 October 2008):
 Being bullied by others to lose your virginity when you're only 14? Oh my, what has happened to our peaceful little world?
Morals seem to mean nothing anymore. Why do you need to lose your virginity? Does it make you a better person? Do people look up to you because you are not a virgin? Do you get special privileges?
I think not.
These girls are acting idiotic and childish. Did they lose their virginity at 14? Why are they proud of that? They aren't even legally adults yet. There's nothing to be proud of. "Oh wow, my hymen's no longer there. I'm superior to you." It makes no sense at all.
Your boyfriend is doing the right thing. Listen to him. Go to him for comfort. Those girls are idiots.
As for the bullying, there are a few options. One, grow a thick skin and ignore them (actually quite hard, but possible). Two, beat the crap out of them (not recommended, but still a viable option). Three, use a clever comeback to turn the tables on them and make them look like fools (my personal favorite).
There are plenty more options. I hope your problem is dealt with. And a pox on the firstborn of those girls.
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A
female
reader, cuteblonde124  +, writes (29 October 2008):
 Okay i am almost fifteen in a week, and i am still a virgin. in fact every single one of my friends are virgins. The people bulling you are most likely jealous of you, excpecially if you and your boyfriend have been going out for 5 months without him pressuring you to have sex. which is really great.so you should just really just go and talk to them, and tell them if they are that desperate to have sex, and are so jealous of me then you seriously need help!!! lol i hope this works out for you, and i am so PROUD! STAY A VIRGIN
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2008): Opps.. sorry babes.. guess I got a little too angry...
Of course bullying is wrong and these are jealous. Ignore my advice, it is best you don't fight back. Go and tell your mother what is going on, and she should then contact the school and tell them you are being bullied by these girls having sex because you are still a virgin. The school should have an anti-bullying policy and they will deal with the situation for you and try to get them to stop..
Yes that's what you should do. Talk to your mum and tell her what's going on and tell her exactly what these girls are saying to you. I would like you to follow the advice from the other uncles and aunts... lol
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2008): Don't let me start, I have a lot of harsh words to say about very little silly girls who try to bully others to treat themselves cheaply. When they next try to attack you, then give them back a little of their own nasty words. They are jealous because they are no longer virgins, they want you to loose your virginity so they don't feel so bad about themselves...
Next time they make a comment say something like.. "Hey, how many boys you slept with last night, everyone knows that your the type of girl who can't get enough" or "Are you still going to the doctors to get rid of that sexual disease you gave to your last boyfriend."
There is NOTHING, NOTHING wrong with being a virgin. These stupid girls think they are big because they have underage sex. They are not, they won't be laughing so much when they are older and the amount of men they have slept with starts to go into double figures. They won't be laughing when they have to go to the doctor because they might have cervical cancer because they started having sex young. They won't be laughing when some guy turns them away and rejects them because he doesn't think they are suitable marriage material because they have had sex with too many men. If they are having sex at their young age, how many men will they have slept with by the time they reach my age.
There is nothing clever or cool, about having sex with people early because you are too eager to grow up. I started having sex at 18, many other aunts and uncles were older. They won't be laughing so hard when they get the reputation for being an "easy lay", or they can't show their faces in some places because they've slept with so many men, their partners get jealous...
Sorry babes, I'm angry on your behalf. There is nothing wrong with having a lot of partners, there is nothing wrong with being a virgin, and there is nothing wrong by keeping your body special until you meet the right person to have sex with. They are bullies, and very silly little girls if they think they look cool. They don't they sound cheap and easy. Don't let them bully you into become one of them, they are ashamed of themselves and they are jealous off you. Most men find virginity attractive (sad to say) and only date girls like them because they know they can get sex easily. Listen to your boyfriend, he sounds like a sensible guy. The law in Britain states that it is illegal to have sex under the age of 16, and the average age for having sex is 17years old, not 14. They should be very careful. The could find themselves under social services, under the category of "at risk from harm".. The boys they are sleeping with risk jail. The sneak and hide because adults don't find underage sex very funny. They should be very careful they don't get caught, because then there will be hell to pay. Don't believe their lies, these girls are in the minority. Most girls and boys your age are still virgins, they are very, very silly.....
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2008): Your boyfriend has already told you he is a virgin (info that could destroy him in high-school if used properly) and you know he doesn;t give a rats ass if you are.
The problem here is you are letting these bullies get to you emotionally, and once you start down that path it becomes very hard to get back your courage.
My advice is to understand that those who talk of sex in this casual manner, use to embarrass someone, use it to bully someone, have most likely never even experienced it.
Most people in school are virgins, it's just that they are too embarrassed themselves to admit to it.
You have sex when you are ready (and you'll knwo when you are, it's just one of those things, you know?) and not before.
Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, shna  +, writes (29 October 2008):
 hey , really you dont need to listen to those girls . there is three main reasons why they are probably picking on you 1) lack of self confidence , which means they will pick on sombody to make them feel bigger . 2) usuallly bullying starts becasue believe it or not they are jealous of you . . even if they dont know itthey will look at you sometimes an think . . .i like her top . . or her hair and become jealous . 3) the girls that are picking on you are most likely to be having bad sex and not enjoying it, they more likey think they are better then you because they feel more like an adult .
you dont need to listen to those girls if your happy with who you are that is all that matters . you are only 14 and you have the world ahead of you , dont lose you virginity becuase girls are putting pressure on you to do so . . . girls that arnt even your friends ?? do it becuase you want to not becuase you are being forced to wait till you find somebody you love trust and comfortable enought to say you no what im ready yo give myself to you . . . cause your parents as you say may be very controling bt you only have control over two things . . your mind and your body . . and dont sell it to somebody for the gud time you might have
shna +) [email address blocked]
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2008): hey dnt listen to those girls they probly are just saying that to try an make them selves luk gud, even though it really doesnt.
most of friends started having sex from the age of 12 i didnt lose my virginity to i was 17 i dnt regret it cos i felt i was in love at the time. but now at 21 i'm in a serious relationship my boyfriend has so much more respect for me knowing i waited.
you will always remember your first time so dnt regret it and wait to you are ready.
good luck xoxo
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2008): Ignore the bullys and listen to your boyfriend! Most of them probably haven't had sex either but are just saying these comments to force you into something that you are clearly you are not ready to do.My boyfriend lost his virginity when he was 12 and says he regrets it now so I really wouldnt listen to them!Only do it when you feel ready to!Im 16 and im still a virgin and i intend on remaining like it for longer! You only get you virginity once so dont waste it!Only do it when you feel happy about it!:-)But i would tell your mum!it might be difficult but you have to grow up one day and your mum will be happy to know you told her!hope its helped!xxxxx
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