A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:I'm 20 years old and I have trouble when asking girls out. I did eventually get a date but it was awful and I thought I could make up for it by asking a second date (she never text back).I've started to get depressed about it as this happens to me every time I date a girl. So it has resulted in me becoming addicted to porn.That all happened 6 weeks ago, I've tried and failed to give up. This has reduced my self esteem towards women a lot more (though oddly other areas of my life I'm fine).I know I should stop watching it especially seeing as I have a good relationship with my mum and sister so they would be a bit upset if they knew what I was watching. How do I stop this addiction. I'm going to see a counsellor about something similar (though I didn't mention the porn bit).
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2007): i believe that you should focus on yourself rightnow by rewarding yourself for trying. do something that makes you happy. join some groups, play tennis, try working out, exercise releases endorphins that make you feel happy and worthwhile. it is not necessarily your fault thaty the date did not go well. try concentrating on what makes you happy and build your own self esteem- without the porn. busy yourself into other avenues and try to become busy and tired so lyou do not have mluch time for it.
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (11 November 2007):
 You have to mention all the details to your therapist. Porn will not help you if you're already in a bad spot with women. As I told my son, what you see in those films is not what the average woman wants. Do not expect women to behave that way and if you have one that does, run in the opposite direction.
Also, most of us could never perform like the guys in the movies. If you used those people as a gage to how long you should last and what you should be able to do, we'd be very disappointed with ourselves.
Life is not like that. If you have issues to deal with, continue with therapy and do the work. That will help you meet the right type of person. By the way, I'm not huge pron fan and I don't buy it. I don't think it's the worst thing in the world and it might have it's place. It's not reality though for most of us. What I mean is this, if you are having problems in that part of your life, porn will make it worse. In order to take porn with a grain of salt, you have to be in a firm mental state and see it for what it really is.
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