A
female
age
36-40,
*eordiegirl22
writes:iv been split up with my ex fiance for nearly 2 month now.but hes suddenly arrived back on the scene asking if he can see me and stuff, which i have agreed to as only friends, even thou deep down i want more.he has told me his life has went down hill without me about, and just wants me in his life anyway he can.now my sis has said that if i get back with or even become good friends with him she will not talk to me and disown me, which is a bit of a problem since we bought a flat together and live in it.the reason me and my ex split up was that he said my sis was tryin to control my life like a mother, and i was just letting her, but i cudnt see it.now after her saying that im startin to see that maybe my ex was right on the mark, im 22 for gods sake i shud b allowed to make my own mistakes.now im stuck in the middle, my sis or my ex, my ex or my sis?am i being totally selfish in sayin that my sis shudnt b saying this to me??? no matter how much she hates my ex, im family, and u shud always b there for family. i do see her point as well i shudnt put a lad in front of family, but come on is it really the same?its not as if she even has to see him i used to go to his all the time, another rule she made, he wasnt allowed in the flat unless she wasnt there, and this was when she liked him!!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Yuna~  +, writes (25 July 2007):
 I totally understand your situation. My boyfriend has a daughter who I adore too. Your sister might try to protect you by telling you he’s not the one. But I think you are the only one that can tell who’s the perfect one for you. Your sister can have her opinion. But it’s you who determines your future’s happiness. She might be bossy (mine is really bossy too), but it doesn’t mean her way is the right way. It’s not supposed to be boyfriend or sister…. one or the other. I’m not exactly sure how close you and your sister are. Can you guys talk it out and reach some point of understanding? Tell her you respect her greatly, but you want to find your happiness and you want her to support you. I know it’s easy to say for me.Between you and your boyfriend, I think it’s great you guys had a great night out. You have to think about whether you should get back with him. Just don’t include your sister in the equation. When you get married, you’re not going to be married to you sister and you husband at the same time. Your sister is supposed to be the one who you share stories over the phone once in a while.Email me if you still need help.
A
female
reader, geordiegirl22 +, writes (25 July 2007):
geordiegirl22 is verified as being by the original poster of the question i would like to clarify, that he isnt a looser and certainly doesnt take drugs, nothing has been tried between my sis and my ex that i am very certain of.the main reason i think is that cos me and my ex split up many times thru silly little arguements which were nearly always caused by her, and she didnt like like the fact he has a daughter from a previous relationship who i adore. not once has he cheated, or hit me or anything in which case then i wud understand her point. i mite just b reeling with anger, but i keep thinking its because she hasnt had a boyfriend or anyone interested in her in the past 8 yrs, and cos she hasnt got anyone she doesnt want me to have anyone.can i just say this is not the first of my boyfriends she has done this with shes done it with 2 others, enforcing arguements between me and them.i still dont no what to do, the situation has progressed since i wrote this question. me and my ex went out on monday had a fab nite together, now my sis wont speak to me, so my head is even more messed up that iv even started trying to block my ex out again, this cant go on, i dont no what to do???????????????
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A
female
reader, Yuna~ +, writes (23 July 2007):
Yes, family is important. What makes family different from a friend or a boyfriend is that they are related to you and no one can change that. Family member should also cares for you but not telling you what to do or else they will disown you. They are welcome to give you their opinion. However, whether you take it or not, it should be completely your decision. I do understand the house rule. You said you bought a flat WITH her, so it is her property too. She does have the right to reject your boyfriend visiting. However, you are a co-owner too. You certainly do have a say too. That’s where communication needs to take place in order to get this solve.From the sound of your writing, you’re seeing your sister is being unreasonable. Maybe you should talk to your sister about it. You mention you and your fiancé split up because of your sister. Does your sister have a valid point?
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A
female
reader, RUSTUPID  +, writes (23 July 2007):
It is hard to know why your sister is being controlling unless we know her reasons for not liking him. If he is on drugs or a loser i wouldnt feel she is controlling. She just may feel that you can do better than him. There is probably a reason for her acting this way. Im sure you know what it is.
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A
male
reader, blaz£ +, writes (23 July 2007):
 heya, look it really sounds like your ex was right.your sis should not be telling you what to do, and who to go out with, thats called black mail and its done by people so they can control what other people do.you listened to her the first time when you two broke up,did you really want to break up with him?if you still like him, after two months.. i dont think so.what kind of family member would threaten you with disowning you?i would make sure nothing happend between her and ur ex, mabye she tried something, then go with your heart, not ur head... (chose him;) xx
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