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female
,
anonymous
writes: I went out with this guy for about 2 years but my parents hated him for no particular reason. Anyway, they heaved a sigh of relief when I broke up with him about 6 months ago, but now we're wanting to get back together and it's so difficult because I can't tell my parents- it'll create a horrible atmosphere but I hate lying to them. too. Help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2005): By your letter, I am assuming you are younger than 18 and still living at home with your parents. I'm really curious 'why' your parents hate him? Ask your parents to be straight up as to why they hate him. There could be something they know about him, that you don't and it's possible, they cannot tell you this for fear of hurting you, because they love you. If you hate lying to them, then sit down and tell them and then hear what they have to say but they have to listen to you, as well.
If they have some misconceptions, then you and he can clear them up for them. Would your boyfriend be willing to sit down and talk with them, too? Also, you may want to check out some of their objections with friends or other adults you trust. Maybe they see something about this guy that worries them and they're concerned.
Whatever you decide to say to your parents, don't start out by arguing. If they say something you don't like, try to keep calm. You can disagree with them while still seeing their point of view. Ultimately, you may need to agree to disagree and find a way to have a relationship with your parents despite your disagreement about your boyfriend.
A
female
reader, Mom_forever +, writes (10 August 2005):
Depending on your age you have to make your own decsion. Sometimes it's hard for parents to sit by and see there child go through certain things in there life, but you have to do what makes you happy. Your parents aren't going to be around forever so live your life for you, just be honest about what's going on.
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