A
female
age
41-50,
*nd_the_girl_settles
writes:My ex boyfriend text me today and wanted me to come see him. There's a big long story behind all this but I'm not sure I should get into it now. Anyways, When we broke up, me and my ex husband of 15 years (and 2 daughters) got back together. We're together now but I have to admit I love the ex boyfriend so much. He makes my heart melt but done me so wrong when we was together. He didn't cheat. Money and the lack of involvement with my girls was the reason for our break up. I thought it was something we could have worked through but he didn't. Now he's texting me! Today he told me I was perfect. He ask me to come see him. I didn't go. I'm not a cheater. I was tempted and can't seem to get him out of my mind now. Now a little about me and my ex husband. We was married for 15 years and have kids. I do love him but there was 'mental' abuse. I gained alot of weight and he hated it. Made it a point to let me know I was fat. I was like 212 and was usually around 150. But a car accident with 3 broke limbs and a 2 year recovery and both my parents died put alot of weight on me. I've now lost 50lbs and still trying to lose more. He has had little comments about losing more. Like 'stop drinking coke, that makes you gain weight'. Well, to me that's how it starts. I did cheat on my ex husband a month before we split because of all our issues. I'm not a cheater though and told him what I did. I guess my question is this. What should I do? Who should I be with? The ex boyfriend that has mean streaks and is money hungry or my ex husband that tells me I'm fat. Did I mention I've only had 2 adult relationships ever in my life? Also my ex husband is 10 years older and my ex boyfriend is 6 years younger. Maybe you'll need more on how each relationship was before you can answer? I do love them both. But the ex boyfriend is the one that makes my heart skip beats just seeing his number on a text. I read a quote once... 'Fantasy is what we want but reality is what we need' That has stuck in my head cause the boyfriend (fantasy)is carefree and the husband (reality) is the family guy. Help! I'm so confused.
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broke up, got back together, money, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (11 February 2009):
 You need to be single and take care of yourself, and your children. Just by reading this shows you're sense of self is off balance. You're willing to accept less for yourself going one direction and less for yourself going the other. Build yourself up, and find someone who will love you for you, and be the person you're looking for, instead of settling for what you have. Life is too short to just settle.
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